Saturday, July 29, 2017

Facebook Love Status

We have collected most Romantic Status in English for WhatsApp and Facebook. I hope you like it. This collection is dedicated to all lover..

Love Status For Facebook

  • The world is a scary place but somehow in your arms, it doesn`t feel so bad.

  • Relationship is like driving a car, a break may be necessary sometimes.

  • You’re always loved by me in ways you’ll never see.

  • Life is so hard, But being with you will make it easier.

  • When you truly love someone, you can never get bored of that person.

  • I`m wondering why, most of my friends in facebook are single..where is the love?

  • Love is a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species..

  • There’s no such thing as a long distance relationship if you keep your hearts close.

  • I once loved you but now that i see what you`ve become whats the point.

  • The only thing I hate about you, is that I can never stay angry with you.

  • Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.

  • I still love you, that`s a fact. But a million apologies can`t bring me back.

  • You think i love you..You think i am crazy about you..you think i want to kiss you..well..i like the way you think..

  • Watching some1 you love walk away, not knowing when you’ll see them again is one of the hardest things especially when they dont know how much they mean to you

  • The greatest feeling in life is to find someone who knows your faults and weaknesses but still willing to embrace you with so much love without doubt.

  • Its hard to forget the past with someone you want a future with..

  • Says never give up on whatever you can’t stop thinking about. The power of thought is stronger than you think.

  • When I say “I Love You,” I’m not kidding I really do Love you and all I want is to be with you and no one else.

  • Tell that person you love them. Life is way too short to keep everything to yourself because one day you’re going to wake up and wonder, what if..

  • I don’t want a Fairy Tale ending…I want a Fairy Tale that never ends.

  • The good memories are kept in your mind the best are kept in your heart.

  • I try to love others with my whole heart, no matter what I’ve been through or how I’ve been treated. I give my all though I’m not given that in return.

  • i love you with all i got…

  • When I met you I didn’t know you, but when I kissed you I was sure you were the one for me.

  • wants to say thank u to that certain someone for putting this smile back on my face. I hope u know who u are and I hope u realize how much I appreciate it all..

  • Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?

  • The more we are filled with love, the less room there is for hate.

  • Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

  • The one who actually loves you will never use or abuse you, but protect you from those who will try.

  • When i first met you i never thought i would fall for you, After i fell for you i never thought i would love you, but i do and i don’t want it to change.

  • You are my favorite Hello and my hardest Goodbye, I love you so much, more than words can describe..

  • I’m hoping that if I tell myself not to fall in love, something inside me will understand.

  • They say penguins are the only animals that stay together for life, Will you be my penguin forever?

  • I know they say that first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.

  • 3 things I want in a relationship, Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die.

  • You want to find true love?.. Look up.

  • Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

  • Love is when your inner flame burns bright enough that it cant help setting others on fire.

  • When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor worthiness.

  • Love is like a piece of art work, even the smallest bit can be so beautiful.

  • Love one another and you will be happy, it is as simple and as difficult as that.

  • Stay in my life, forever?

  • Love never claims, it ever gives. Love ever suffers, never resents never revenges itself.

  • Love is the last relay and ultimate outposts of eternity.

  • Forget love… I’d rather fall in chocolate.

  • Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.

  • If you have LOVE, you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.

  • Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness…. Oooooo …. Where is my MasterKey?

  • The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

  • Love that we can not have is the one that last the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

  • If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS

  • Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for eternity.

  • Loving Someone Doesn’t Need A Reason .. If You Can Explain Why You Love Someone It’s Called ( Like ) .. If YOu Can’t Explain It’s Simply Called ( Love )

  • I dont know much about algebra but what i do know is you plus me equals forever.

  • True Love = No doubts + No jealousy + No worries!

  • Don’t fall in love with someone you can live with, fall in love with someone you can’t live without

  • Ignore the risk, and take the fall, if it’s meant to be, it’s worth it all

  • Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.

  • Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

  • Love is like the five loaves and two fishes, It doesn’t start to multiply until you give it away.

  • I didn’t fall in love with you, I fell in love with who you used to be.

  • I couldn’t express my love for you, but the time we dated, it was the best month and a half of my life.

  • Love is about realizing that an imperfect person can make your life perfect.

  • What I want, I will work for, What I need, I will fight for, What I love, I will die for…

  • You have to love yourself before others can love you.

  • It takes a second to say I love you, but actions to show it.

  • He taught me how to love, but not how to stop.

  • While our looks fade overtime, my love for you will stay strong forever.

  • True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.

  • People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.

  • True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

  • Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  • I don’t care who you are Where you’re from What you did As long as you love me.

  • Heaven is where the heart is and heart is where the love is.

  • You’re in love. That makes you actually kind of boring to people who aren’t in love.

  • Just because someone does not love you the way you want, doesn’t mean they dont love you with all they have.

  • Forever is not a word rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there.

  • When you can’t believe your eyes, you can always trust your heart. Love makes anything possible.

  • Albert Einstein Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

  • Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.

  • You can’t make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

  • I have noticed that with you, I smile more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter, and life is so much sweeter. For being with you takes me to a different place called love.

  • Never close your lips to those Whom you have opened your heart.

  • Love is one of the hardest words to say and one of the easiest to hear.

  • Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

  • Missing someone is your heart’s way of reminding you that you love them.

  • Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.

  • Loving you is a mistake I’ll gladly repeat.

  • Women listen music b’coz they are in love. Men listen music b’coz they want to fall in love.

  • Love dont cost a thing except a lot of tears, a broken heart & wasted years.

  • It’s not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, its hard to find someone who actually means it.

  • Love is like a grape, it may have a tough skin but it is full of delicious juices.

  • True love is not finding someone else but finding your other half.

  • Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more its going to hurt.

  • Love is like the wind, you cant see it but you can feel it all over.

  • Love asks me no questions and gives me endless support.

  • I think our love can do anything we want it to.

  • Love is just a four letter word with so many meanings behind it.

  • Love is what makes you smile even when youre tired.

  • Love is neither true or false, love is love.

  • Isnt it funny, they always want to *Lets be Friends* after they break your heart.

  • I am a lover not a fighter, but I will fight for what i love.

  • Love is like the sun coming out from the clouds and warming your soul.

  • No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread.

  • Love, self assurance and friends are most valuable in life.

  • A person who irritates you always is the one who loves you but fails to express that.

  • The measure of love is when you love without measure.

  • Love is not blind. It sees but it doesn’t mind.

  • There’s no past tense in loving someone. It’s either you always will or you never did.

  • Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.

  • If you ask me about the love, I can’t answer you. But if you ask me who I love, the answer is you.

  • Where there is great love, there are always miracles.

  • The best love is the one that makes you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself.

  • Love is the only thing that can control every single emotion you have.

  • What else can I say ……. I love you and then again love you and this goes on and on.

  • My heart is ever at your service.

  • Love is like a bouncy ball b’coz if you drop it, it always cflove

  • True love is when your heart and your mind are saying the same thing.

  • I will be yours, you will be mine and together we will be 1 love.

  • The problem is whenever we talk I fall in love over and over again.

  • Based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you are in love.

  • Love never fails and when it fails, its not love!

  • Love does not make things easier. It just makes them worth fighting for.

  • You can’t buy love, because when it’s real, it’s priceless.

  • We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love, our first.

  • Live for the person who dies for you, smile for the person who cries for you, fight for the person who protects you, and love the person who loves you more than you.

  • Love is about growing together as a couple, learning about each other and not giving up.

  • You may fall in love with the beauty of someone, but remember that you have to love with the character, not the beauty.

  • Everybody knows how to love, but few people know how to stay in love with one person forever.

  • Love who your heart wants, not what your eyes want. Don’t worry about what others say or think. This love is yours, not theirs.

  • There can be no better inspiration for life than love. Without love, life exists nowhere, so let you live your life fully and enjoy love.

  • Love is master key that is capable of opening a gate of happiness.

  • Love is like water. We can fall in it. We can drown in it. And we can’t live without it.

  • There is a difference between a first love and true love. Only sometimes we are lucky enough to find both in one person.

  • Love is not all about the smile, but also about tears that will be converted into a smile.

  • NO matter what standards we set for our lover, the fact will always remain that the person we fall in love with will always be an exception.

  • In true love, there is no mountain too high to climb. No river too wide to cross. And most of all in true love there is no ends.

  • No fancy words, long explanations or romantic sayings to describe it. I just simply love you.

  • Love is when I can’t pay attention in class because I’m too busy writing her first name with my last name.

  • Telling someone why you love them is like trying to explain what water tastes like.

  • Love makes you strong in front of the whole world but weak in front of the one you love.

  • Love is not having someone give you the world. Love is creating a whole new world together.

  • No matter how big the world is, if we are meant to be together, love will lead us to be together.

  • Don’t waste time. If you love someone tell them b’coz sooner or later someone else is going to.

  • Love a person for what he is, not what you think you can make him to be.

  • Loving someone never gives you the right to control them. You cant force them to love you the way you want.

  • Love is the same for a poor man, and a king.

  • Love is when you have the chance to leave but choose to stay.

  • Love is on the lips of many but in the hearts of few.

  • Put your hand in mine, and give it a chance. I will show you down a brighter path, trust me.

  • The person who loves you is not the person who sees you every day, but the person who looks for you every day.

  • Love is the greatest gift when given. It is the highest honor when received.

  • Loving someone is not a bad thing, as long as it is done within limits of dignity.

  • Love leaves a memory that no one can steal, but it also leaves a scar that no one can heal.

  • True love is not love at first sight but love at every sight.

  • Love must be learned, and learned again; there is no end to it.

  • Don’t try to change people; Just love them! Love is what changes us.

  • The only thing we never get enough of is love and the only thing we never give enough of is love.

  • Love is when you have seen the best and the worst of someone, yet you still love them for what they have.

  • In order to learn how to love, you first have to learn how to trust.

  • My love for you is not like rain, which comes and goes away. But its like sky, moves with you all around.

  • In this world there is no perfect guy and there is no perfect girl. But only a less than perfect guy and a less than perfect girl can make a perfect love.

  • Love is when you sit beside someone doing nothing yet you feel perfectly happy.

  • I will be yours, you will be mine and together we will be one love.

  • You know it’s love when you have been saying good bye for the last half hour and you are still not ready to leave them.

  • One thing I realized about love Is that, Love is the only one thing that you may not know whether it is real or not but only time and commitments that gives the guarantee of the reality.

  • Love is there when both person are more concerned for the other than for one’s self…..

  • When I met you I didn’t know you, but when I kissed you I was sure you were the one for me.

  • True love is when he does little things for you before you ask

  • Our eyes are placed in frong because it is more importand to look ahead than to look back..

  • Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.

  • In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love, you want the other person.

  • Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it lasts.

  • Percect love is the most beautiful of all furstrations because it is more than one can Express.

  • Everybody knows how to love but few people knows how to stay in love with one person forever.

  • The few hours i spend with you are worth the thousand hours i spend without you.

  • Don’t ask me why i love you, because i will have to explain to you why i live!!

  • The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.

  • True love Never Dies IT Only Gets Stronger WITH Time!!!!

  • Love is when you again and again go to whatsapp to see his/her last seen :)

  • When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that’s love.

  • Its not that I’m afraid of falling in love, I am afraid of falling in love with the wrong person…again

  • Always Love your frnds from your Heart not from your mood or need.

  • Falling in love with you was never my intention. but it became my ADDICTION.

  • True love is when you don’t need to care about how you look anymore.

  • Many people say love hurts, but it not only hurts it also give you a different kinda pain..which make u feel that you are in love ” truly “..!!

  • love is a policy,without terms and conditions.

  • Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are.

  • Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.

  • Lvoe is real , real is love…….

  • IF YOU (LIKE), (LOVE), OR (MISS) SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: – and can’t get them out of your head. – then add this to ur favorites within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you. – :)

  • You know you’re in love when you don’t wanna go to sleep at night because your life is better than a dream.

  • Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

  • Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’

  • My heart is, and always will be, yours.

  • Where there is love there is life.

  • So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…

  • We accept the love we think we deserve.

  • You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

  • If life is the song, then love is the lyrics.. :)

  • if you really love someone, even if there was a million reason to leave, you would still look for the one reason to stay…

  • You know you believe in love when your own heart is broken, but you still make your best efforts to unite two people falling out of love…

  • Love doesn’t need a reason. Pure Love will come from the heart without reason. And stay every season.

  • There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness

  • Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.

  • The fool is always beginning to live.

  • You love me. Real or not real?” I tell him, “Real.

  • Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

  • It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

  • We accept the love we think we deserve.

  • But luxury has never appealed to me, i like simple things, books, being alone, or with somebody who understands…

  • If you love someone express your love to them before it expires.

  • Fall in love with someone who deserves your heart. Not someone who plays with it..

  • Just remember you can’t put your arms around a memory, So hug someone you love, today…

  • i am not popular but i have good friends. i’m not rich but i have what i need. Sometimes i’m not liked but i know i am loved..

  • Life is a one way street no matter how many detours you take none of them leasds back so enjoy life’s every moment as none of them will happen The same way again…

  • Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way is like using a white crayon on a white paper. It’s always invisible…

  • i can’t make you love me..

  • True love doesn’t just fill your heart, it over flows into your whole body and soul…

  • I don’t have time to hate people who hate me cause i’m too busy loving people who love me!

  • Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

  • Born to express not to impress.

  • Everyone says you only fall in love once, but that’s not true, every time i hear your voice I fall in Love all over again.

  • Never let any body come so close to your heart that it is painful to forget them.

  • I never really believed in magic until I saw you for the very first time.

  • If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right .

  • When the angels ask what I most loved about life, I’ll say you.

  • Give me your heart, cause mine`s already with yours.

  • LOVE IS LIKE A WIND,WE CAN’T SEE IT. BUT WE CAN FEEL IT.

  • Love is to love someone for who they are, Who they were and and who they will be.

  • In one lifetime, you will love many times but one love will burn your soul forever.

  • I hope to love you in all the ways he couldn’t ..

  • Everyone says love hurts, but that isn’t true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.

  • I can’t find the reason why I like you. I believe that’s what love does.

  • You are the reason behind my smile.

  • Love is fearless, but I fear of losing you.

  • Met you by fate, chose you as a friend, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

  • You are the dream I see every morning when I wake up.

  • Everybody knows how to love, but only few know how to love forever.

  • I am single because God is busy writing the best love story for me…

  • A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, be my world.

  • A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend… You should worry if she doesn’t care.

  • I love my life because it gave me you I love you because you are my life! Best Love Status For Facebook!

  • Distance doesn’t matter in true love.

  • Love is when you look into someones eye and see everything you ever need.

  • I’m sick and tired of being strong..

  • A moment with you is better than eternity anywhere else.

  • In your smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

  • I love you yesterday I love you still, I always have…. I always will

  • Love in Life ,Make the life beautiful..

  • If you fall in love… be ready for the tears..!!

  • Love the life you live, and live the life you love.

  • Love isn’t complicated, people are.

  • There’s only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you – I Love You.

  • I still fall for you every day.

  • When you find love you don’t wanna let go :P

  • Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it last.

  • I fell in love with you, not because of your looks but for who you are.

  • I will always love you, no matter what happens.

  • Love is just love, it can never explain.

  • Love is so short, Forgetting is so long.

  • Love leaves a memory that no one can steal but sometimes, It leaves a heartache that no one else can heal.

  • Love shines on those who learn from their yesterday & want more for their tomorrow.

  • With you I am never worried about what the future holds because I know baby you will be with me holding my hands.

Facebook Status Ideas

Facebook Status Ideas
We have collected most of the Status in English for WhatsApp, Websites and Facebook. I hope you like it. This collection is dedicated to all Facebook Visitor.
  • Not smoking also leads to death.

  • Forgive your enemies. It annoys them to no end.

  • If a profile picture has two people in it, the profile belongs to the uglier one.

  • My wife had auto correct way before the iPhone.

  • Some thoughts should stay in your head.

  • You may not like what I do or my different view but that’s why I’m me, and not you

  • Hold on I’m getting an idea!

  • Don’t be like cigarettes, people buy you when they need you and step on you when they finish from you, but be like drugs, they DIE if they don’t have you..

  • You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook, turn your computer off, go to bed, role over, and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.

  • If you wanna be successful in life, you have to work hard for it, but party harder.

  • Good morning. You are beautiful inside and out. Hit your day head on knowing this, and everything will be just fine.

  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize that you`re wrong.

  • Cheer up, tomorrow will be a better day, just believe!

  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

  • It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.

  • If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.

  • Never forgets a face..but in your case I’ll make an exception!

  • Dreams of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

  • Never make eye contact while eating a banana..

  • You’re not an ugly person. You’re an exceptionally beautiful monkey.

  • Love is like fire. It can warm your heart, but it can also burn your house down.

  • I’m a nobody. Nobody’s perfect. So I guess that makes me perfect.

  • If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.

  • If you really like someone, there’s no such thing as not having enough time for them.

  • Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.

  • Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

  • Where have you been all my life?

  • The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

  • Me without you is LIKE Facebook without friends, Youtube without videos, Movie without music and Google with no results.

  • Love and forgiveness cannot be separated. To truly love, you must forgive. To truly forgive, you must love. Forgive and move forward to a life of true love.

  • Be confident. You will never get anywhere if you don’t believe in yourself.

  • If people are truly, madly, deeply in love with each other, they will find a way.

  • I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done.

  • When you are successful your well wishers know who you are BUT when you are unsuccessful you know who your well wishers are.

  • Waiting for someone you love is never easy. Especially when the one you’re waiting for isn’t aware that you’re waiting…

  • Always stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone.

  • Truth is, i miss you. i miss the way you held me, the way you told me you kissed me, i miss it all.

  • All I want is someone who will stay, no matter how hard it is to be with me.

  • Meeting men at bars is like window shopping. You’re looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.

  • That amazing moment when you post a comment on facebook and everyone likes it.

  • In the restaurant window, “Eat now Pay waiter.”

  • Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like frantically getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.

  • Life is like a game without the pause button.

  • When you really LOVE someone … Age, Distance, Height, Weight … These are just a damn numbers.

  • Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

  • Life is an echo, what you send out comes back.

  • Man never has what he wants, because what he wants is everything.

  • Even if I was home alone for six hours, my tv didnt work, computer was broken, phone wasnt charged and I lost the charger… I STILL wouldn’t do my homework.

  • Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

  • Your best friends now, can become your worst enemies later, but also the other way around. Keep that in mind when you judge people, because you might experience something like it.

  • Sometimes you have to follow your heart & not worry about what others think.

  • There’s no next time. It’s now or never.

  • If love is a crime, lock me up, I’m guilty baby

  • Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.

  • A man will never be the man a woman wants him to be ,and a women will never be the woman a man first thought she was.

  • At some point, you have to stop planning and start doing.

  • I wanted everything to stay the same, but feelings fade & people change.

  • The difference between your mind and your heart is that your mind tells you whats smart to do and your heart what you are gonna do anyway.

  • You may not always end up where you thought you were going, But you will always end up where you were meant to be.

  • Stop wasting your time on people who don’t love you.

  • Thousands of stars are in the sky but you are the one in front of my eyes.

  • How come the only normal people are the ones I don’t know very well?

  • I am fine = I wish you know how I feel inside.

  • Dear Enemies — I have so much more for you to be mad about. Just be patient :)

  • What is life without love, who can tell me?

  • Why are so many unexpressive in love, but highly expressive in anger?

  • People that worry about the past are still living there.

  • Everything comes back ……. Even fashion

  • I still feel that writing a Love Letter is more romantic than E-mails & SMS.

  • Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you cant change.

  • Remember that love comes from the heart not the mind.

  • Even thoo we stopped talking ………….. I still think about you.

  • We live in a tragic world where a cat dies out of curiosity, but humans die without a reason.

  • If you cant help people, at least dont hurt them.

  • I wish we can Google how someone feel about us.

  • If you hold back your feelings because you are afraid of getting hurt, you end up hurting anyway.

  • Be mine or make me your’s, live in my heart or let me live in your’s.

  • Everyone who lives dies but not everyone who dies lives.

  • You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It’s your life.

  • You have to take chances for the things you care about.

  • I have stopped counting the days, I now make everyday count.

  • If you always give, you will always have.

  • Your inner beauty never needs makeup.

  • If you dont know how to LOVE then atleast learn how to care.

  • To mom & dad, One way I’ll make you proud. I promise.

  • Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But its your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.

  • There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

  • Last person you think about before you fall asleep is the one who truly owns your heart.

  • Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

  • Mind is like a parachute. It only works when its open.

  • The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you. It is when you dont understand yourself.

  • Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had.

  • Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

  • How we live our days is how we live our lives.

  • Success seems to be connected with actions. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but they dont quit.

  • There is no key to happiness, the DOOR is always open.

  • Running away ….. Who wants to come with?

  • I am scared of looking at you because the more I do, the more I fall in love with you.

  • Why do we hurt the one we love the most?

  • Expectation is the root of all heartache.

  • The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.

  • I dont forgive people because I am weak. I forgive them because Im strong enough to understand people make mistakes.

  • Words can’t express how much I love you. You are my love now and forever.

  • I always wonder if you smile at my texts like I smile at yours.

  • The most beautiful line is “But I Love” and the most heartbreaking line is I Love You But.

  • People may forget what you said, but not what you did.

  • Past is where you learned the lesson. Future is where you apply the lesson. Dont give up in the MIDDLE.

  • Never try to maintain relations in Life. Just try to maintain life in ur relations.

  • Whenever I look into your eyes and you look into mine, I wish time would stop so that moment would last forever.

  • If a girl is stupid enough to love you after you broke her heart, I guarantee you, she is the one.

  • No girlfriend … No problem … AGREE?

  • I dont know exactly what I was waiting for but when I am with you, It feel like everything I’ve been waiting for.

  • If love is suicide. Im about to make a sacrifice.

  • Sometimes its best to stay quiet. Silence can speak volumes without ever saying a word.

  • I wish we can GOOGLE how a certain people feels about us.

  • TRUST is like a eraser. It gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.

  • I hate two faced people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.

  • How others see you is not important. How you see yourself means everything.

  • It’s time to be happy again.

  • In a relationship: Everyone likes you. Single: No one likes you :)

  • You know why its hard to be HAPPY? It’s b’coz we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad.

  • Just because I don’t say certain things, does not mean I don’t feel them.

  • A single moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous that it makes us forget the hundred lovable moments spent together within a minute.

  • The problem with closed minded people is that their mouth is always opened.

  • A real relationship is where you can tell each other everything & anything. No secrets and no lies.

  • Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.

  • Never be afraid to help others in their time of need. You never know when you may need that shoulder to lean on.

  • The smile on my face doesn’t mean my life is perfect. It means I appreciate what I have and what GOD blessed me with.

  • The worst feeling is pretending you don’t care about something, when really it’s all you seem to think about.

  • Sometimes in relationship people get too comfortable and forget they can be replaced.

  • Keep your eyes open and your feet moving forward. You will find what you need.

  • A woman who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things but will never leave you.

  • The awkward moment when you are that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.

  • Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe. Love as long as you live.

  • GOD hears every unspoken words, sees every unseen wound, mend every unbearable pain. Have faith and be strong!

  • Trust is like a paper, once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again.

  • There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes, whats wrong is letting a mistake stay a mistake.

  • Dont let the imaginary person in your head keep you from loving the real one right in front of you.

  • Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

  • I may not be the PERFECT ONE for you. But I will always try to be the RIGHT ONE for you.

  • I love the morning without an alarm.

  • The truth may hurt for a little while but a lie hurts forever.

  • rom morning’s first light to evening’s last star, always remember how special you are.

  • No one ever gets tired of loving. But everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, saying sorry & hurting.

  • As time goes on you’ll understand. what lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself.

  • You know he’s someone special when no matter what kind of mood you’re in, he can always manage to make you smile.

  • Life is crazy, first you wanna grow up, then you wanna be a kid again.

  • Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come to someone’s life.

  • Have faith in GOD; God has faith in you.

  • I still remember all the sweet things you said, they keep me up at night.

  • Handwritten love letters will never go out of style.

  • No Texts. No Calls but I’m still here thinking about you like crazy.

  • You know you found the one when you can’t stop thinking about her.

  • Everyone can make you smile but not everyone can make you happy.

  • You are leaving because it’s easier to walk away than to fight for what you really want.

  • I am incharge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness.

  • Whatever you believe with feeling becomes your reality.

  • Always think before saying anything. It may be a joke for you but it might break someone’s heart.

  • Don’t try to be different. Just be good, Nowadays to be good is different enough.

  • I love sleeping b’coz dreams are way better than reality.

  • If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

  • Remember the time we used to get on the computer just for paint?

  • I hate it when you think your dream is real & when you wake up, you are all disappointed.

  • Stop waiting for things to get better and do something to make it better.

  • What ever you give to life, it gives you back. Do not hate anybody. The hatred that comes out of you will someday come back to you. Love others.

  • Every time when I see a quote that relates to my situation I think that I am not the only one.

  • I’m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my fb status, all my friends would delete me.

  • People are not always going to be there for you, thats why you need to learn to handle things on your own.

  • No words can explain how I feel about you, but sometimes I wonder how you feel about me.

  • Sometimes in life we just need someone who will be there for us. Someone who will listen. Someone who will unnderstand us.

  • Sometimes you have to be your own hero b’coz sometimes the people you can’t live without can live without you.

  • Once you feel you are avoided by someone….. Never disturb them.

  • Love is not about finding the one. It’s about giving yourself to someone who will love you for who you are.

  • I wake up every morning hoping to see a text message from you.

  • Loving someone and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

  • People may hate you for being different and not living by society’s standards but deep down, they wish they had the courage to do the same things.

  • No matter how carefully you choose your words, they will always end up being twisted by others.

  • People say, when you are in love, everything seems beautiful but I say when you are truly in love, you can’t find anything more beautiful than your love.

  • Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

  • Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.

  • Recpect old people: They graduated high school without Google or Wikipedia.

  • She loves him more than he’ll ever know. He loves her more than he’ll ever show.

  • When it comes to love, there’s no guarantee that you wont get hurt, you just have to ask yourself is it even worth taking the risk.

  • Time passes, memories fade, feelings change, people leave but hearts never forget.

  • Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.

  • Theres always that person whom you wish their status was about you.

  • My mind says Victoria Secret model, but my heart says chocolate, pizza, food.

  • When I look at you, I can’t deny there is a GOD. Because only GOD could have created someone as wonderful and beautiful as you.

  • Always remember that you have a family that loves and respects you, so remember to do the same.

  • There is no future in the past. Move on. Life is too valuable to get stuck.

  • The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

  • Be contented and happy with what you have, while working hard for what you want.

  • Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say.

  • 10% of conflict is due to the difference in opinion and 90% is due to wrong tone of voice.

  • There are things in our life that are not meant to stay. Sometimes, CHANGE may not be what we want. But sometimes , change is exactly what we need.

  • Jealously only eats up your beauty. Have more faith in yourself, you got something that other people don’t.

  • The only thing that makes it a part of your life is that you keep thinking about it.

  • My amazing ability to believe that a simple blanket can protect me from the devil at night.

  • Laying in bed, remembering a conversation in your head and imagining what you should’ve said instead.

  • If you are willing to hold someone’s hand. Make sure its forever.

  • Respect is for those who deserve it, not for those who demand it.

  • The sweetest place is to be in someones thoughts and the safest place is to be in someones heart.

  • There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.

  • That awkward moment when you are checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there’s someone inside.

  • That awkward moment when you finish reading a page and you have no idea what you just read.

  • Nothing is more cute than a shy guy trying to tell you that he loves you.

  • I don’t want diamonds or the world ……. all I want is for you to hold me and call me your girl.

  • Can’t sleep at night and can’t get up in the morning.

  • First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.

  • The police is looking for a suspect described as sexy, funny & great in bed. You ugly ass is safe, but where should I hide?

  • The only way to feel peace after a break up is to quiet the thoughts about it.

  • Real love is not based on romance, candle light dinner and walks along the beach. In fact, it is based on respect, compromise, care and trust.

  • Everyone makes mistakes in life but it doesn’t mean they have to pay for them for the rest for their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn’t mean that they are bad… it means they are human.

  • Dear GOD, Thank you for today, yesterday and tomorrow; my family, my joy, my sorrow; for all that made me stronger.

  • Life is trial and error. Every relationship is not meant to work. Sometimes you are just meant to learn the lesson.

  • When I was a child I was afraid of ghosts. As I grew up I realized people are more scary.

  • Sometimes it’s hard to move on but once you move on, you’ll realize it was the best decision.

  • Its Okay” and “Im fine” are the two most common lies spoken in the world.

  • Do something instead of killing time, because time is killing you.

  • I wish facebook would notify me when people delete me. That way I can “LIKE” it.

  • That scary moment when you are about to go to bed and then you realize you had homework.

  • Having long hair is the most annoying and wonderful thing ever.

  • In life I have made a lot of mistakes and I have felt a lot of pain but mistakes make me smarter and pain, makes me stronger.

  • No matter how many times I say I don’t need a boyfriend, my heart still craves to love someone truly.

  • You are who you are today because of a strong foundation you built yesterday.

  • Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.

  • If you care about what you do and work hard at it, there isn’t anything you can’t do if you want to.

  • Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late.

  • Those who know me never doubt me & those who doubt me never knew me.

  • No matter how you treat people they will love you according to their mood & need.

  • If you know you are right, keep your voice down. If you know you are wrong, keep your confidence up.

  • Never underestimate the power of a smile, it can ease someones pain in less than a second.

  • Facebook is like relationships. Faithful on your walls but cheating in your inbox.

  • The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.

  • The only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don’t change.

  • Doubt kills mmore dreams than failure ever will.

  • When you can’t forgive someone, pray for them. It may or may not change them, but it will always change you.

  • Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

  • The best thing about the past is that it shows you what not to bring into your future.

  • Not everything is meant to last forever, so enjoy every moment as it happens.

  • The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

  • When I am expecting a text, I constantly feel my phone vibrate even though it is not.

  • Every human in the world is blind to his own faults.

  • Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

  • Don’t feed your mind with negative thoughts. If you do, you will come to believe them.

  • Be thankful, you are blessed. Life is too short to be so stressed

  • When someone comes into your life, God sent them for a feason, Either To learn from them, or to be with them until the end.

  • It’s not about ideas it’s about Making ideas happen.

  • To be rich is not what you have in your bank account, but what you have in your heart!!!

  • Maybe its true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it. But it’s also true that we don’t know what we are missing until we find it.

  • It is better to cry than to be angry, because anger hurts others while tears flow silently threw the soul and cleanses the heart.

  • Love IS Like Fire. It Can Warm Your Heart, But IT CAN Also Burn Your House DOWN.

  • Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

  • Sometimes we struggle through a tasteless coffee till the last sip, then we find sugar lying at the bottom .. that’s life, sweetened but not stirred well.

  • We all have that one friend who starts acting up because there’s girls around.

  • When you fall in love, you tend to lose 2-3 close friends due to neglecting friendships.

  • Isn’t it so annoying when famous people get things for free when they are the ones that can afford it.

  • I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook……..I can’t even keep up with the Kardashians.

  • Maybe I should treat you the same way you have treated me. Then maybe you will understand how much it hurts.

  • It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them.

  • Do what you did in th beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.

  • Some people will like you, some people won’t. It’s their problem not yours.

  • I swear, if my girlfriend calls me immature one more time, she’s never getting her nose back!

  • God forgives. Everyday is brand new. It is possible that when you are worrying about something, God will always turn things around to make you happy.

  • I wish you would sneak up behind me, whisper in my ear, and tell me all the things I have been dying to hear.

  • The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God�s love for us does not.

  • I don’t think you are stupid. You just have bad luck when thinking

  • 2 mints silent for those.. Who seen but didn’t like my posts.

  • Do you think sheep know when you’re pulling the wool over their eyes?

  • A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

  • Time for a fun game. Which TV family is most like your own?

  • Always look your best. You never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.

  • Just because a person smiles all the time, doesn’t mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength.

  • Distance doesn’t necessarily ruin a relationship. You don’t have to see someone everyday to be in love.

  • A best friend is someone who tells you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it..

  • A good man and a good woman create a power couple because their passions for success equal each other. It’s about love and being a team.

  • When someone appears in your dreams, that person was most likely talking about you before falling asleep.

  • Real men DON’T assume everything’s ok with their woman, they communicate with her making 100% sure everything’s ok.

  • When life’s tough remember you are tougher.

  • Doesn’t matter how many people doubt you or your dreams, as long as you don’t doubt yourself.. Anythings possible

  • The loneliest moment in someones life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

  • Just be yourself, there is no one better.

Facebook Jokes


We have collected most of the Status in English for WhatsApp, Websites and Facebook. I hope you like it. This collection is dedicated to all Facebook Visitor
  • Your time, energy and love is precious make sure that it is not wasted and preciously invested when dating.

  • It’s just Facebook, I wish people would keep it real and stop frontin.

  • A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, i am afraid of widths.

  • You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.

  • Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

  • I wish I could google “things to eat in my “fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.

  • Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.

  • If people have a problem with u, always remember, it is THEIR problem..

  • Don’t be afraid to make mistakes..

  • The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

  • Vote Up Vote Down My Facebook wall is broken.

  • All work and no play, will make you a manager.

  • If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

  • Why can’t shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time?

  • It`s too late to apologize. The damage is done.

  • you`re sorry ? that`s cool. go write a book about it and let someone who actually cares read it.

  • Why does paper beat rock? if you hold a paper in front of your face and i throw a rock at it who wins?

  • If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.

  • My friend has just updated his status saying. Is balancing on the edge of a cliff.. So i poked him.

  • I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.

  • Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you..

  • thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”

  • Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

  • Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?

  • Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside ..So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

  • It’s raining, It’s pouring. Facebook is boring. I’m bored to death, I’m going to bed, hopefully we’ll meet in the morning!

  • Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It`s not the term for the past. EX is short for EXpired..

  • That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.

  • Why do you talk so fast?” “Why do you listen so slow?”

  • I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

  • Life is hard normally, but its harder if you are Stupid.

  • Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.

  • Never Say Neverrr, you just said it twice ?

  • Is your name Summer.? because you are as hot as hell.

  • I hate when my mind wont shut up when I’m trying to sleep..

  • If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.

  • Dear smartphones, why can`t you charge yourself? Sincerely, you`re not so smart after all.

  • If you want to commit suicide, you should jump down from your ego to your IQ.

  • It used to be, “Can I have your number”? Now it’s, Do you have Facebook..

  • just found out that if you hold Ctrl and w for 10 seconds it turns your Facebook page from Blue to Red

  • I think all woman can agree that bigger is better. Nobody wants a small bank account

  • Tired of everyone talking about their feelings on Facebook lol..

  • You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.

  • Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet…

  • If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

  • Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…

  • One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.

  • Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…

  • If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..

  • Laziness is my middle name.

  • Dear Ceiling Fan, If you could hold my weight, i would never be bored again. Sincerely, Bored.

  • Between Facebook texting, tweeting and email, I haven’t spoken a word in the last 3 years.

  • Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when UR beside them they stay connected but when you are away they search for new devices.

  • When you really want to slap someone, do it and say “mosquito.”

  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

  • If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand – it’s fun while you’re doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.

  • Lary is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can’t they invent a self cleaning house?

  • If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?

  • Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.

  • Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in the cell with you, laughing about how awesome that just was.

  • I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.

  • Facebook, because time isn’t going to kill itself.

  • Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.

  • Is there a rehab for Facebook addiction?

  • Stealing other people’s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.

  • I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.

  • I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.

  • I had my DNA analyzed. It came back with four main components. Bacon, Chocolate, Coffee & Crazy.

  • I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, If I die next Tuesday.

  • When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

  • Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

  • When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.

  • Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots..

  • Bad decisions make good stories. No wonder people find me so entertaining..

  • Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

  • I promised my friends that I wouldn’t date bad girls anymore.

  • I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.

  • Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

  • Please help the homeless. Take me home with you.

  • My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

  • Insert coin to view my status message.

  • If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

  • I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.

  • It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

  • Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. :)

  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

  • I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… “Pay The bill”

  • My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.

  • Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

  • Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

  • Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

  • Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

  • Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

  • God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

  • Facebook is the second most popular word that starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘K’ :)

  • You dont realise how many clothes you have, until you wash them.

  • Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make.

  • You have lot of curves and I have no brakes ;)

  • I haven’t slept for ten days, bcoz that would be too long.

  • Bitch also stands for beautiful, intelligent, talented and charming human being.

  • Why do U think I SMS You? Is it because I care? Or I miss You? Or I love You? Or I need You? No ! It’s because I need a person for just time pass. :)

  • If at first you don’t succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

  • I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

  • Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.

  • I don’t understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle.

  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

  • Taking revenge is wrong… very very wrong… But very very fun…

  • Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It’s not fair that some men should be happier than others.

  • A hot secretary came angrily out Of boss cabin. Her colleague asked: What Happened? You went inside in a happy mood. She replied: He asked me are you free tonight? I said absolutely free. That bastard gave me 45 pages to type!

  • They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?

  • Hey, you have eyes, I have eyes, we have a lot in common!

  • Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken, and the only ones left are handicapped.

  • You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

  • Laughing is the best medicine but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine.

  • Question of the Day: When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?

  • Death is God’s way of saying you are fired. Suicide is humans way of saying, I quit.

  • My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz

  • There are only two kinds of people in this world: Doctors and Patients :)

  • Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

  • I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent :)

  • We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

  • Dear math, Im not therapist so solve your own problems.

  • Today’s Joke! A Girl said …….. TRUST ME :)

  • The 3 fastest means of communication: telephone, television and tell a woman.

  • I’m not sure how much longer I can hide the fact that I’m a robot.

  • You wanna see a perfect relationship? Watch a movie. Lolz

  • Dear Facebook, Just wait, one day they will leave you too. Sincerely, ORKUT

  • Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.

  • The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

  • My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.

  • Insert coin to view my status messages.

  • Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?

  • Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist :P

  • Dear Google: They are only using you to get to me. Sincerely Wikipedia

  • I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

  • How to make a woman go mmmmmmm all nite long? …………………….. with Duct Tape :)

  • Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone’s mouth while they are talking?

  • FACT: Kissing burns 5.4 calories a minute…… Ummm, wanna work out?

  • Whatever you do always give 100% ….. Unless you are donating blood :)

  • I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.

  • I never let my best friend do stupid things … alone.

  • We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up …….. after I finish laughing :)

  • I did in the bed. I did it on the couch. I did it in the car. Texting is such an obsession. :)

  • Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

  • Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

  • How to sleep faster: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom.

  • Dear parents, we know money doesn’t grow on trees, that’s why we are asking you for it.

  • I’m not stalker. I am an unpaid private investigator.

  • I have a date tonight, with my bed. We are totally gonna sleep together.

  • Instead of single as a marital status, it should read independently, owned and operated :)

  • Congratulations … You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

  • Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. It does not enhance your performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft. Lolz

  • I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday :)

  • A fast beating heart doesnt always mean Love… A blushing face isnot always a sign that your inlove… Sometimes huboGLANG! HAHAH

  • A man died and sent to Heaven. God was surprised to see his Heart still beating. . God asked him, how come? The man replied, “I’m Dead but my Wife still lives in my Heart”. ;)

  • When I die I want my body to donate for research, but more specifically to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life.

  • Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 four times. It’s that easy.

  • My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

  • When your GF blocks u on facebook…… Its called an electronic divorce :)

  • If people could see the face I make when I read their facebook status updates, they would probably unfriend me.

  • I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.

  • Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :)

  • Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a girls brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left.

  • We are the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook.

  • It’s not true that I had nothing ON….. The radio was ON. :)

  • There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.

  • I hate when skinny girls say,”omg I’m so fat”. If you are fat does that make me a whale?

  • I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, if I die next Tuesday.

  • The real reason women live longer than men b’coz they don’t have to live with women.

  • Don’t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain’t. :)

  • Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)

  • I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)

  • I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

  • Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.

  • Status I didn’t fall down, I attacked the floor.

  • In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth… After that, everything else was Made in China.

  • Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

  • A boy commented on his Facebook status Happy New Year The girl wrote in comments Same to you The boy edited the status to – I love you!!!

  • I’m Not Anti-Social I’m Anti Idiot!

  • Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

  • Before you take me away, i just want to update my profile picture….

  • At late night wife’s mobile beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry. He wakes his wife. Husband (angrily): Who is the person saying beautiful? Surprised wife checks her mobile. Wife (double angrily): Heyyy.. Use your spectacles. it is not beautiufl. it is battery full…

  • It’s ok to talk to yourself, it’s even ok to answer yourself.. But when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said- you have a problem!

  • Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product? Bunty: MS Excel Lucky: MS Word Bittu: MS Powerpoint . . . . Santa after thinking a lot, “MS Dhoni” tongue emoticon

  • My age is very inappropriate for my behavior..

  • Facebook is like a fridge. you keep checking it, but there’s nothing good.

  • A fast beating heart doesn’t always mean love…. A blushing face is not always a sign that your inlove…. Sometimes huboG lang!! Hahahaha

  • Hi Sweetie how was schook Today?? you can read all about it on my facebook DAD!!!

  • Free Beauty Advice for Girls… if you want A good profile picture for your facebook profile… Without wrinkles without pimples without dark Marks Use”Adobe photoshop”

  • Behind every successful status update there is Ctrl+c & cntrl +V …

  • What is facebook????? its a place where boy posts joke, gets no responce & if girl posts the same joke, gets 150 likes & 56 friend requests!!!!

  • Being popular on facebook is like sitting at the cool table in a cafeteria at a ental hospital!!

  • hen Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.

  • Snooker is the best. Snooker is basically tidying up disguised as sport.

  • Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

  • Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.

  • You want a perfect girl? Go buy a barbie.

  • I don’t always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.

  • Crowded elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.

  • My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.

  • A relationship without trust is like a phone without service, all you do is play games.

  • Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

  • I am making it my job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

  • My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

  • Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? My name is Paul.

  • Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? My name is Paul.

  • Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

  • I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

  • If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

  • Why is Facebook like Jail? “You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don’t really know!”

  • Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in a cafeteria at a MENTAL HOSPITAL.

  • Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there’s nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.


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