Clever Facebook Status

Clever Facebook Status 
We have collected most of the Status in English for WhatsApp, Websites and Facebook. I hope you like it. This collection is dedicated to all Facebook Visitor

• I stepped on a cornflake today! So I am a cereal killer now…

• People might say your not normal but if you ask me normal isn’t that much fun. being yourself and being abnormal is Awesome, don’t change who you really are..

• Ray says crazy is good, crazy is free, crazy is me..

• There is a thin line between insanity and genius. I, myself, am in the middle, and quite frankly, I enjoy every second of it.

• You are gonna need therapy after you meet me..

• Hanry says my mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely..

• Crazy people love crazy people cuz normal people don’t understand..

• I used to have an imaginary friend. Then he had an imaginary accident.

• Why does Facebook want to know what I am thinking? Do they not realize that is classified and somewhat scary information??

• Shany has lost her mind, if found, please handle with care it may blow at any time. I apologize for the inconvenience,but could you return it anyway.

• I want a real relationship, not a facebook one..

• I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally….

• Relationships are a lot like yard sales, they look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but then you realize it’s just a bunch of crap you don’t need.

• Either you control your attitude or it controls you..

• LIFE is a given. LIVING is optional. Don`t be a passenger when YOU are already the CAPTAIN.

• People are gonna hurt you, but its your decision who gets a second chance.

• I don’t like to think myself as ‘Special’ I like to think myself as limited edition.

• Can you stop being so attractive? I`m trying to move on here..

• The true beauty of a woman is her ability to make a man better in every way.

• You can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice.

• Genius by birth evil by nature human by chance..

• I won’t try to be awesome, awesome tries to be me.

• I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what i am saying.

• I never look for trouble, it just always seems to find me.

• My mind tells me to give up, my heart won’t let me.

• You can’t handle my undivided attention.

• would like to remind you that amateurs built the ark professionals built the Titanic

• like this if you like to like things

• If somebody really cares about you they will never put you on the back burner.

• My heart is in the right place, I know, because I hid it there.

• You don’t have to watch what you say if you watch what you think.

• If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them.

• Problem of solving a problem is not a problem, but when a problem solves a problem without any problem then the problem is not at all a problem. Any problem?

• When you meet me, you think I am quiet. Then you get to know me and just wish I was quiet.

• Sometimes even I’M afraid of the things my mind comes up with.

• People wear masks to see who cares enough to see through it. I built a wall around me to see who would be brave enough to climb it.

• If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you dont, you’ll find an excuse.

• It’s funny how many lies can be packed in one LOVE LETTER.

• Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken.

• I lost my teddy bear. Can i sleep with you?

• Whhat if life come with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP

• You know sweety, my lips won’t just kiss themselves. Please help.

• It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

• I was blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

• I’ve noticed you noticing me and I’m just giving you notice that I’ve noticed you!

• Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.

• No matter where I am, no matter where you are, I’ll be there when its over baby. Cause I was there from the start.

• The whole world is great! That is…until you wake up.

• When your enemies are making mistakes, don’t interrupt them.

• No matter how long we have traveled on the wrong road, we can always turn around.

• Wonders, do you do anything on your own or does everyone else think and make your decisions for you?

• Everybody is beautiful to somebody.

• Warning, it’s not safe to talk to me at the moment..

• Sometimes the best revenge is moving forward and being happy despite the people that try to drag you down.

• Don’t worry about tomorrow you did that yesterday.

• My life is open book but i don’t allow everyone to read it.

• If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

• There is something wrong with my phone. Any GIRL call it for me to see if it rings?

• I’m not actually this tall. I am sitting on my wallet.

• History is made by those who BREAK THE RULES.

• Sometimes people try way so hard to sound clever on Facebook.

• A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness and just stupid enough to admire it.

• Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

• Never run after a bus or a girl. There will always be another one.

• We will flip a coin to determine our future. Head, we will be together. Tail, we will flip again.

• Happy on the outside, but simply dieing on the inside.

• I am not scared of dying, I just don’t want to!

• Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.

• People need to lose the attitudes today b’coz I am NOT in the mood.

• Its not illegal unless you get caught.

• ‎BUT is just a word you use when you’re afraid to try.

• Two things only a man cannot hide, that he is drunk and that he is in love.

• When your ex says you’ll never find anyone like me reply that’s the point.

• What you see on the outside is usually the opposite of what’s on the inside.

• You are not born a winner; you are not born a loser. You are born a chooser.

• Everything is getting more expensive. Except for people, they are getting cheaper.

• Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

• My first name and your last name would sound great together.

• Not all man are fools, some stay bachelors.

• Can you see yourself the way others see you?

• Sometimes its better to keep silent than to tell others what you feel.

• “Be Brave” Even if you are not pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

• I don’t trust anyone. Even the Devil was once an Angel.

• My attitude is based on how you treat me!

• When you miss someone, you keep checking their profile.

• Any one need relationship advice? Message me and i’ll be here for anyone :)

• If they can’t do their part, they don’t deserve your heart.

• There is something wrong with my cell phone. It does not have your number in it.

• Hi – Im the girl of your dreams. Someone said you were looking for me.

• LIFE – LOVE = ZERO

• IMMATURE: A word boring people use to describe fun people.

• If nothing lasts forever, I was wondering if you might wanna be my nothing?

• I’m jealous of my parents. I will never have a son so cute as they have.

• Never trust a person with one only facebook picture.

• Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

• If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one?

• GIRL: Describe me in 1 word. —- BOY: Mine ;)

• Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me … I’ll

• Cheating is easy …. try something more challenging … like being faithful.

• People wanna see you doing well but not better than them :)

• When I close my eyes, I see you …. when I open my eyes, I miss you.

• My Girl = My Life …. Touch Her = Your Last Day On Earth.

• You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

• No matter how full my wardrobe is, I never seem to find anything to wear.

• Sometimes no matter how much you want things to happen, all you can do is wait.

• We should love, not fall in love. B’coz everything that falls, gets broken.

• For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.

• I am SINGLE because I haven’t found someone who deserves ME.

• If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.

• If you expect the world to be fair with you b’coz you are fair with them. It’s like expecting a lion not to eat you b’coz you don’t eat lion.

• ME without you is like: Facebook without friends, Youtube without videos and Google with no results.

• I feel like a Indiana Jones, b’coz you are the treasure I am looking for.

• Facebook: where stalking people is OK.

• I am the type of person who wants to get good grades but doesn’t want to study :)

• I might as well call you Google, because you have everything that I am looking for.

• Laziness is the mother of all bad habbits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.

• Thanks to all those who ask the awkward questions on yahoo answers so that we don’t have to.

• Laziness is the mother of all bad habbits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.

• I wish I could google the things I have misplaced.

• I need a lifetime lover, not a night time lover.

• ADMIT IT: Life would be so boring without me.

• Lets learn to ignore selfish people just like the way we ignore Terms & conditions of any software.

• An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of pure guilt. ;)

• About 90% of the high scores in mobile games are made either in the toilet or in a lecture or while preparing for exams.

• You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you are blocking the traffic.

• If APPLE made a car, would it have windows?

• Hearts know things that the eyes don’t see and feels things that the mind cannot understand.

• Never be fooled by what you see on the outside, b’coz on the inside it’s often a different story.

• You see a person’s true colors when you are no longer beneficial to their life.

• Plese don’t talk to me, I get attached too easily.

• LOVE is when I can’t pay attention in class because Im too busy writing her first name with my last name.

• Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you …….. Priceless :)

• Money can’t buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.

• The only math I can remember is that …. You + Me = Forever

• I wish my phone never ran out of battery, my fridge never ran out of food and my wallet never ran out of money.

• STUDY? The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby.

• A strong person is not the one who doesn’t cry. A strong person is one who is quiet and sheds tears for a moment, and then picks up her sword and fights again..

• You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.

• I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination…

• Dreams is not what you see in sleep is the thing which doesn’t let you sleep..

• Do IT NOW. Sometimes “Later” Becomes Never.

• I don’t hate schooI. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.

• If being hot is a crime …………….. ARREST ME.

• If you earn your bread well. There will always be people around you to apply butter.

• I like sleeping because it’s like being dead, without the commitment.

• Typing a long text to your crush with your true feelings but then erasing it and typing… Yeah. Ever Happened?

• Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

• I can drive you crazy without a drivers license.

• The best nicknames are usually the ones people don’t know they have.

• The longest five minutes are the last five minutes of a lecture while the shortest five minutes are the last five minutes of an exam.

• Some people are perfect in being *FAKE* then being *REAL*.

• Just wondering why brain cells die, skin cells die, your hair follicle die, but fat cells live FOREVER?

• HUMAN BRAIN: Forgets what we want to remember & remembers what we want to forget.

• I have to admit, God was just showing off when he created me.

• Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

• Some people might be less attractive but once you get to know them they are hot as hell.

• A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds.

• I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

• I am still waiting for someone to prove that waiting all this while, is worthwhile.

• If you can’t convince them, confuse them

• i am a slow walker but i never walk backwards…

• Anyone who has never made a mistake his never tired anything new.

• Sometimes me think what is friend? and then me say, friend is someone to share the last cookie with

• Kill tension before tension kills you reach your goal before goal kicks you. live life before life leaves you….

• You are the best thing that’s ever been mine..

• The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

• When it’s time to let go, don’t doubt or hesitate, Good Bye to good is hello to Great!!!

• Don’t waste your time with explanations, people only hear what they want to hear!!!!

• Every guy always asks me: what does he have that i don’t? && i reply: [My Heart]

• When i ask you to listen a song, it’s because the lyrics mean everything i’m trying to say to you…

• Never expect things to happen, it’s better to feel surprised than to feel disappointed..

• Things in motion sooner catch the eye..

• LIfe based on a big love towards the world is full and rich….

• you are never too Old to set another goal or to dream a new dream…

• Treat me like a queen and i’ll treat you like a king. But If you treat me like a game, i’ll show you how its played.

• Take your chances to make all of your dreams come true. Never wait too long or else it could all slip away in a blink of an eye.

• Boundaries Are Necessary So That You Can Protect Yourself, Because Once You’re Broken, You’ll Never Be Fully Fixed.

• Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS.

• My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.

• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..

• I want a real relationship, not a facebook one..

• One day someone is going to hug you so tight. That all of your broken pieces will stick back together…

• A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other…

• I don’t have time to hate people, who hate me. because i’m too buys in lving people who love me.

• Dear math, I’m tired finding your “X” DUDE she is gone, Please Move on Bro. !

• Be a good person, But Don’t Try To Prove.

• Just because I moved on doesn’t mean I won’t be here if you change your mind. You always have special place in my heart.

• i dont care if you talk about me behind my back because good or bad, my name is still in your mouth ;-)

• Any one need relationship advice? Message me and i’ll be here for anyone :)

• Goodbye Past. You Made Me Cry, Made Me Laugh But Its Time To Move On.

• My silence doesn’t mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!!!

• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

• Good girls are found on every corner of the earth but unfortunately the earth is round.

• Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

• I don’t have a dirty mind, i have a sexy imagination..

• o one is perfect that is why understanding is so important…

• Be someone else’s sunshine. Be the reason someone smiles today….

• Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself – your strengths and your limitations in contrast to depending on affirmaion from others..

• Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

• Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

• A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…

• Failure is simply and opprotunity to begin again, this time more intelligently..

• The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.

• Just keep moving forward and don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you..

• The worst decision you can make is simply no decision at all..

• Stay positive some of your best days haven’t happened yet :)

• Knowledge is having the right answer. intelligence is asking the right question…

• The fears we don’t face become our limits..

• Life is better when you’re laughing…

• Do not expect this to be easy you have to work for the best things in life..

• If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.

• That awesome moment when you prove an overconfident bastard wrong..!! ;)

• I want a real relationship, not a facebook one..

• Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness. ♥♥

• I don’t follow Rules,i make them for Me!!

• My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.

• I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I’m also deaf in one ear.

• I’m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.

• Sometimes it’s better to be alone so that nobody hurts you.

• When you have a good imagination, you can make up all the facts you want!

• Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.

• Hell is a never-ending Instagram account of a girl who just got a new boyfriend.

• I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.

• If she’s not there when you go to bed, then use your every waking second to write her a love letter to bring her back beside you..

• Speak only when you feel that your words are better that your silence..

• when love is real, it doesn’t lie, cheat, pretend, hurt you or make you feel unwanted. It’s supposed to be a cure to all your worries.

• I am not the moon orbiting around your planet; I am the sun that will burn through your frozen mind.

• I always listen to people when they’re angry cause that’s when the truth comes out.

• When wrong people leave your life, the right things start happening…

• Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

• Walking is men best medicine…

• Never hate people who are jealous of you but respect their jealousy because they are the one who think that you are better than them…..

• Don’t give up the beginning is always hardest..

• A real relaionship has fights, trust, faith, tears, pain, arguments , patience, secrets, jealousy and love…

• Cute lines by a girl who fell in love: “He stole my heart & I’m planning to take a revenge… I’m going to steal his last name…!!!

• I can’t be friends with sensitive ass people, I joke around way too much.

• Everyone is looking for a strong person, nobody needs a clever one.

• Don’t think about tomorrow, Think about the now!

• I can make your gf scream louder than you can.

• I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

• If being #Hot is a #Crime = ARREST ME!

• You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee

• I know it’s not big and it’s not clever but F..bad.. me it’s funny!

• No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug

• My Friend ask me, How is your life? I said she is fine.

• You can kill your attraction to anyone by watching them chew.

• If nobody love you, then you are doing something wrong..!

• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

• I am not failed, Because my success is lost.!

• Warning, its not safe to talk to me at the moment..

• Types something clever to get people to like my status :)

• Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray… but it’s there.

• Rules are made to the break!

• All man are not fools, some stay bachelors.!

• Relationships are like yard sales, are great fun few hundred feet away, but realize that it is just a bunch of junk that is not necessary.