20 Mind Blowing Facebook Status Posts

1. Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
2. I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook ever added a “Dislike” button.
3. Words of Wisdom: The police never think it’s as funny as you do.
4. It doesn’t matter who likes us as long as we like us.
5. I’m not antisocial. I just have cable, Internet and a dog. What more do I need?
6. Do you ever write an earlier date on a school paper to make it seem like you didn’t do it the night before its due?
7. I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
8. If we hate the same people we’re already friends.
9. Sometimes I feel like the only one that likes music that is played with actual instruments…
10. I hate being so busy that I can’t do personal things at work.
11. Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
12. Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
13. I have never faked a sarcasm in my life.
14. The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
15. Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
16. That awkward moment when graduates who were SO pumped to be done with college are SO over this whole real world thing.
17. Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
18. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time on Netflix trying to find something to watch, than I actually spend time watching.
19. Sharks kill about 5 people yearly, vending machines kill 23. Do I really want that bag of Doritos? Hmmm…
20. Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.