- God is really creative,
I mean.. just look at me! :)
- Who needs television
when there is so much drama on Facebook.
- Everything funnier when
your supposed to be quiet..
- I want someone to look
at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
- Save water drink beer.
- I hate fake people. You
know what I'm talking about. Mannequins. :D
- I'm not lazy, I'm on
energy saving mode.
- I love my job only when
I'm on vacation.
- Never make eye contact
while eating a banana.
- Life is Short - Chat
Fast!
- If life gives you
lemons, just add vodka.
- How can i miss something
i never had?
- Hey there whatsapp is
using me.
- Girls use photoshop to
look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
- Fact: Phone on silent
mode- 10 Missed call... Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!
- Girls, if he only wants
your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
- You can never buy
Love....But still you have to pay for it ..
- If you are going to
speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you
more.
- Did anyone else notice
the sound if you click the like button on my status?
- I live in a world of
fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
- A bank is a place that
will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
- My biggest concern in
life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death!
- When I'm a Pedestrian I
Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians.
- Whoever says "Good
Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped :)
- Mosquitos are like
family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
- Dear Lord, there is a
bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it
- Always wear cute pajamas
to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
- God is really creative ,
i mean ..just look at me :P
- Decided to burn lots of
calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
- When I'm on my death
bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in
the.
- I wake up when I cant
hold my pee in any longer.
- Don't kiss behind the
garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
- I Like to study..
Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO .... chemistry - NO ....
GIRLS - YES!
- My father always told
me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your
life.
- Life is too short smile
while you still have teeth.
- My study period = 15
minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
- If College has taught us
anything, it's texting without looking :)
- I'm Jealous Of My
Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
- Here my dad comes on
whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just
a smiley.
- Friends are forever,
until they get in a relationship!! :P
- People call me mike ..
You can call me tonight.. :p
- In Modern Politics, Even
The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of
Facebookistan!
- C.L.A.S.S- come late and
start sleeping :)
- Faces YOU Make ON The
Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
- Everything is 10x
funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
- People who exercise live
longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at
gym.
- Relationship Status:
Looking for a WiFi connection.
- It may look like I'm
deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what
food to eat later.
- Checking your symptoms
on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.
- When a newly married man
looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks
happy, we wonder why.
- Wrestling is obviously
fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them
are wearing pants?
- Sorry about those texts
I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
- We are WTF generation
.... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
- Having a best friend
with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
- It's been 70+ years,
Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry :)
- I want some one to give
me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)
- There's like 7 billion
people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world
... huh
- Dear Lord, all I ask for
a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.
- I don't usually sleep
enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)
- My family says I talk in
my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
- The only thing I gained
so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)
- I am not addicted to
WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ....... lunch time, break
time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)
- Marriage is just a fancy
word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by
his parents anymore.
- The most powerful words
other than I LOVE YOU is "Salary is Credited" :)
- Is there anything more
awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the
music stops loading.
- Years of education,
solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while
standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
- Flirtationship: More
than a friendship and less than a relationship.
- Running away does not
help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
- In bed, it's 6AM you
close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school it's 1:30, close
your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31
- I wonder what happens
when doctor's wife eats an apple a day. :)
- GOOGLE must be a woman
because it knows everything.
- I only need 3 things in
life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)
- Boys, if you don't look
like calvin klein models, don't expect us to look like victoria
secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) :)
- I have enough money to
last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- TODAY has been
cencelled. Go back to BED :)
- I've had a horribly busy
day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)
- Some people should have
multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple
personalities.
- At least mosquito's are
attracted to me.
- Laughing at your own
texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
- I really need 5 hours of
Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
- When a bird hits your
window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with
you?
- Today morning when I was
driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D
- Restaurant
Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour's wife; And
beer as COLD as your own. :)
- My family says I talk in
my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
- If you love someone, set
them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
- Today's Relationships:
You can touch each other but not each others phones.
- I am sure I have a
defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at
work.
- A husband is someone
who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just
cleaned the whole house.
- When a woman says WHAT?
Its not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to
change what you said.
- My bed is always extra
comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
- One day your prince will
come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to
ask for directions :)
- I always learn from
mistake of others who take my advice :)
- If time does not wait
for you, don't worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and
enjoy life.
- If school has taught us
anything, it's texting without looking :)
- I hate people who steal
my ideas, before I think of them :)
- All my life I thought
air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
- Try to say the letter M
without your lips touching.
- Excuse me .... Plesae
empty your pockets .... I think you stole my heart.
- I used to like my
neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
- I love my six pack so
much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
- Nothing moves faster
than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)
- The first five days
after the weekend are always the toughest.
- I look at people
sometimes and think ..... Really?? That's the sperm that won :)
- Girls are funny
creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if
you forget their birthday.
- How do people write an
auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday
:)
- Nothing is illegal until
you get caught :)
- Admit it, you listen to
other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
- Dear Google, thank you
for doing most of my homework for me. :)
- Girls work on their
looks but not their minds b'coz they know boys are stupid, not
blind.
- The definition of a
beautiful girl is one who loves me :)
- I hate when people all
of a sudden decide to be funny
when I am drinking something :)
- Only fools fall in love
and I guess I'm one of them :)
- God made everything that
has life, rest everything is made in China :)
- Friday is my second
favorite F word.
- For all the girls that
say ..... All guys are the same ...... Who told you to try them ALL.
- Every girl deserves ONE
GUY who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her.
And Im that ONE GUY :)
- I think I got a fever, a
fever of you :)
- I always give 100% at
work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4%
Friday :)
- Please GOD if you can't
make me slim, make my friends fat.
- For you men who think a
woman's place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are
kept. :)
- I hate when I am about
to hug someone really s3xy and my face hits the mirror.
- If a single teacher
can't teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single
student to learn all subjects.
- Its better to fail than
to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
- Most emotional moment in
a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number :D
- Dear Google, Please stop
behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole
sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
- Definition of human
being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write "SAVE
TREES" on the same paper.
- Thanks to Google,
Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you
Guys.
- I don't believe that
love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt.
LOLz
- Dear Food, Either stop
being so delicious or stop making me fat :)
- It's funny
how people judge other's mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- The question I have not
been able to answer is "What... does a woman want?"
- Boys will be boys as
long as there are no girls in the picture.
- If you love something,
let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not,
hunt it down & kill it.
- Dear MATH, stop asking
to find your X, she's not coming back.
- People say nothing is
impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- Marriage is like going
to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look
at neighbouring table n wish you"d ordered that.
- Money can't buy
happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same
thing.
- I speak two languages,
Body and English.
- BRB = I don't want to
talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don't care.
- I'd like to thank the
internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste :)
- Kiss me and you will see
how important I am.
- If you can't find the
key to success, pick the lock.
- Everything I like is
either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or
Impossible.
- One should always be in
love. That is the reason one should never marry.
I Found The Way To Love Everyone But I Didn’t Learn The Way To Feel Others LOVE To Me.
The Space Between Your Fingers Are Meant too Be Filled With Mine!!
You know that they will never be in love with you but you still unconsciously finding quotes which remind you of them.
True Love Will Always Find A Way To Come Back!!
Dont waste your affection to a wrong one who is not responding, but dont miss to keep your affection to the right one who respects it!!
The Speed Of The Leader Is The Speed Of The Gang
I see you with my heart not with my eyes.
Let make it short and simple, I love you.
Three Mistakes Of My Life : WTF (Whatsapp Twitter Facebook)
I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
Working For A Better Tomorrow Doesn’t Mean Putting Off What’s Important Today.
Hard times will always reveal the real friends..
My life ,my rule,that’s my attitude…
If a man whistles at you, don’t turn around. You are a lady not a dog
Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
If you are right then there is no need to get angry” and “if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to be angry..
I hate people that use their Facebook relationship status for attention.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
My heart is no longer red, but black. No longer warm, but cold. No longer filled with love, but hatred. I just don’t care anymore.
There’s nothing better than watching World Cup.
I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me…
If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, It simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.
Tears Are The Last Gift Of True Love!!!
I know you are a dream……but people say that dreams come true!!!
Love the one who love you….. not the one whome you love ♥♥
Never define yourself by your realtionship status, your income or your looks. It’s your generosity, kindness and compassion that counts..
you’re my love, my heart, my soul, my headche,, my smile, my wrong, my right, my pain, my happiness, My everyting…
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will tak the bus with you when the limo breaks down!!
Never blame anyone in your life Good people give you happiness. bad people give you experience.. worst people give you a lesson & best people give you momories…
Surely silence can sometimes be most eloquent reply..
May this festival of lights fill your heart and soul, With blessings, joy and prosperity and make you whole, Wishing you and your family, Ramadan islamic Mubarak …
He is the one GOD; the Creater, the Initiate, the Designer. To Him belong the most beautiful names‌ He is the Almighty, Most Wise. Wishing you a blessed Ramadan..!
Chaand ki Pehli Dastak Pay, CHaaNd MuBaRaK Kehtay Hain, Sab Say Pehlay Hum Aap Ko, RAMZAN MUBAARAK kehtay hain.
Sometimes we stay away from the people we love not because we don’t love them anymore..but because we find them much happier without us.
LoVe Isn’t a thing that you can play with. You will know the value of love when you get a true love and someone else play with you…
Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had..
Don’t you wish the guy in my last status was your boyfriend? He’s so hot.
One of the most important keys to Success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you dont feel like doing it.
Apologies only account for that which they do not alter.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
I know what i did to lose you..and im SO sorry. I didnt mean it… I was blinded…Blinded by my anger please forgive me.
The pain you give to the hearts, which loved U and cared U all ur way from months n years, can never be erased by the one word called “SORRY” !
I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me..but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.
I looked at a flower and thought it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen till I met you.
Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.!!
Something i learned about people… if they do it once, they’ll do it again…
A sincere apology has three pasts: i am sorry it is my fault What can i do to make it right?
Good buy summer Hello Autumn…
I am not failed……My success is just postponed.
The Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife………She was my mother!!!!
He’s more myself than i am. Whatever our souls are made of , his and mine are the same…
There is no market for YOUR EMOTIONS, so never advertise your FEELINGS just display YOUR ATTITUDE.,.’
Don’t get confused between my personality and my attitude. My Personality is who I am and my attitude depends on WHO YOU ARE.
A positive attitude can really make dreams come true.
When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
Cheating isn’t an accident, its a choice.
There are somethings that money can’t buy…. like manners, morals and integrity…
If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up!!
The fact is that love is of two kinds, one which commands, and one which obeys.
Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
True romance isn’t Romeo and Juliet who died together but grandma and grandpa who grew old together.
May God send his Love like Sunshine in his warm and gentle ways to fill every corner of your Heart and filled your Life with a lot of Happiness like this EID DAY. Wishing you Happy Eid 2014.
Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know!!
Don’t get upset with people, they are powerless without your reaction…
Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.
It only hurts when you love someone and you know they don’t love you back.
If a hug tell how much i love you, i would hold you in my arms forever.
typing….
Keep Smiling & One day Life will tired of upsetting you :)
Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt by someone you trust.
Be honest.. like if you ever cried for someone…
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Wouldn’t it be the
Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.
Only once in yoru life, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. And when you find that someone… never let then go…
Always wear s smile, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile….Smile please….
Making a big life chang is pretty scary. But, know what’s even scarier? Regret..
People cry, not because they’re weak. it’s because they’ve been strong for too long…
Be careful who you trust and tell your problems. Not everyone that smiles at you is your friend..
Khud par bharose ka hunar seekh le Log jitne bhi sache ho sath chhod hi jate hain…
You have to be unique and different to shine in your own way.
God is good He knows what he is doing. When you can’t trace his hand trust his heart..
Dear GOd, Thank you for being there when no one else was…
Sometimes we don’t say what we feel, not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t know how…
You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
I don’t hate Peoples ,I just love Peoples who loves me.
“Single” Is not a status, it is a good word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. This person chooses own life path.
Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so near to monday????
Relationships would be easier if people came with a CLEAR HISTORY button.
Relationships are for honest people, if you’re not honest, you don’t belong in any relationship !!!
I can and I will! If u don’t care how ur actions effect others, then you should be able to live with the consequences of your actions!
Hating me doesn’t make you pretty.
“If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.”
Warning – You might fall in love with me.
People run from real because it is too much for them and fake is easy
I’ll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
A selfie a day keeps the friends away.
A strong woman is one who is able to smile this morning like she wasn’t crying last night.
Don’t forget to pray today, because God didn’t forget to wake you up this morning…
Don’t underestimate the power of a crying girl friend.
A great many people have a soldier’s stomach – everything they eat goes to the front.
Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.
“Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!”
Dream as if you’ll live forever..Live as if tomorrow is last one.
If u have one true friend u have more than your share.
Don’t think, just do.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.
I work for money, for loyalty hire a Dog.
When I’m sad don’t look at me – just kiss me
Travel to life is like css to html
I love to walk in fog, because nobody knows I’m smoking.
It’s better to live alone.
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.!!
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
There is No Scale To Measure the love..
Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.
Silence is better than lies.
I’m sorry if i changed but you changes too.
Sleep till you’re hungry….Eat till you’re sleepy.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Be Honest Always :)
“Please do not get confused between my personality and my personality attitude.My is what I am and my attitude depends on who you are!”.
Borrow money from a pessimist- – he doesn’t expect it back.
Life is the art of drawing without a eraser.
