Best Love status for whatsapp

 

Can I borrow a kiss… I promise I’ll give it back.

I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.

In your smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

Loving you is like breathing – so effortless, so natural. And so essential to life.

The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings

Perfect love casts out all fear.

If you listen, you can hear love in the music.

Love can be hard at times, btu true love is worth the effort.

Say you, say me, say it together, naturally.

A man in love is incomplete until he is married with her love. Then he’s finished.

Love is like a Air ..We can’t see it but! we can feel it.

Loving you is more than just a dream comes true.

When I see my phone light up, I always hope that it’s a text message from you….

True love is when he does little things for you before you ask

Just because we’re not close anymore, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.

I will always love you, no matter what happens.

Everyone says you fall in love only ones, but i fall daily with the same person.

A man in love is not complete until he is married…… Then he is finished.

If a hug tell how much i love you, i would hold you in my arms forever.

Once in a while ,right in the middle of an extraordinary life ,Love gives us a fairytale.

Missing someone+No text from ’em = Worst feeling.

The bad news is time flies.The good news is you are the pilot.

The person who makes you happiest is the person who can hurt you the most.

Love is like water in river.It keeps flowing ,though there are huge rocks which hinder its way.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them …

You can push them away, but people who really love you will always choose to stay

If you live to be 100 years old, then i want to live 99 years so i won’t ever have to live without you.

I wish love had traffic lights…So that i’ll know weather I should GO for it,SLOW down or just STOP.

The person who makes you happiest is the person who can hurt you the most.

I fell in love with you, not because of your looks but for who you are.

Love is when you look into someones eye and see everything you ever need.

True love doesn’t have happy ending …it has No ending.

When i text you, that means i miss you, but when i don’t text you, that means i am waiting for you to miss me.

Everybody knows how to love, but few people know how to stay in love with one person forever.

No one will ever care like I did, I promise you that.

We spend too much time looking for the perfect person to love instead of perfecting the love we give!

Even if I had a million reasons to leave, I would still look for one to stay.

Every LOVE story is beautiful, but ours if my Favorite.

Every moment i spent with you is like a dream come true

You are the sunshine that starts my day.

I Just fell in love with you, I don’t know how, I don’t know why, I just did!

Did YOU know i really love the second word of this question?

Love is not just about how often you say I Love You, but how often you can prove this to be true.

You can’t find love. Love is something that finds you.

Love was just a word before i met you.

Being in love is like being drunk, You can’t have control on what you do.

I have not age, no limit, & i never die, I am called Love.

Love is a game that two can play and both win.

The more one points fingers, the less one loves.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to handle.

Love cures us – both the ones who spread it and the ones who receive it.

Love is the honey and our life is a flower.

The hunger for love is harder to remove than the hunger for bread.

Easy to begin, but very hard to stop loving someone you loved.

Love has made millions of poets.

People want to ride with you on a lambo, but you want someone who will ride you with on a auto when lambo breaks down.

We are the mirror of those we love.

And in the end its the love you give is equal to the love you take.

Where there is love, there is life. – gandhi

30 Best Attitude Whatsapp Status from Bollywood Movie Dialogues

1. Raaste ki parwah karoonga toh … manzil bura maan jayegi

2. Joh aadmi limit mein rehta hai … woh zindagi bhar limit mein hi reh jaata hai

3. Aadmi tabhi bada banta hai … jab bade log usse milne ka intezaar kare

4. Joh haarta hai, wohi toh jeetne ka matlab jaanta hai

5. Kabhi kabhi jeetne ke liye kuch haarna bhi parta hai … aur haar kar jeetne waale ko baazigar kehte hai

6. ene ki capecity, jeene ki strength, account ka balance or naam ka khauf- Kabhi kam nahi hona chahiye. .

7. Bachcha kabil bano, kabil … kamyabi to sali jhak maar ke peeche bhagegi.

8. Log apni zindagi banate hai … main apni jannat banata hoon

9. Kuchh bhi karne ka but, meri ego ko hurt nahi karne ka.

10. Don’t underestimate the power of a common man..

11. Pasand aai to dil main, nahi to dimag main bhi nahi..

12. Jab log tumhare khilaf bolne lage samajhlo tarakki kar rahe ho. .

13. Jawani taste karne k liye hoti hai waste karne k liye nahi. .

14. Jinke apne sapne poore nahi hote na … woh doosron ke sapne poore kartein hai

15. Tum kya leke aaye the … aur kya leke jaoge.

16. Jali ko aag kehte hain, bhuji ko raakh kehte hain, jis raakh se barood bane usey Vishwanath kehte hain.

17. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim

18. Bade bade shehron mein aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hain.

19. Saara sheher mujhe Loin ke naamse jaanta hai.

20. Dosti ka ek usool hai, madam: no sorry, no thank you

21. Tension lene ka nahin, sirf dene ka

22. Zindagi mein teen cheezon ke peechey kabhi nahin bhagna chahiye-bus, train aur chhokri

23. Nazdiki fayda dekhne se pahle, door ka nuksan sochna chahiye.

24. Great men are not born great, they grow great.

25. Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahi.

26. If you like me raise your hand, if don’t raise your STANDARD.

27. Uska to na bad luck hi kharab hai,.

28. Maangi hui cheez lautani padti hai, main kamana chahta hun. .

29. Koi pyaar kare toh tumse kare, tum jaise ho waise kare. Koi tumko badal kar pyaar kare toh woh pyaar nahin, sauda hai.

30. Mogambo khush hua.

Top 20 best Facebook Status Updates – Ever

You don’t need a dramatic situation or circumstance to happen in your life to want POSITIVE CHANGE and be happy. “Be Happy Now” and watch the positive changes come along naturally.

No matter how justified i was in my anger it never actually changed anything.. This is why i must let it go… Not because i think it is okay, but because i love my self to much to keep holding on.


“So now I know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in.”  – cast away.


The truth is… I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart… and I never really got it back. – Sweet Home Alabama.


10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash – Now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.


A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.


If God Answer your prayer, He is increasing your faith. If he delays, He is increasing your patience. If he does not answer, He knows you can handle it.


Coins always make a sound but the currency notes are always silent,So when ur value increases, keep yourself calm and silent.


“When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.As Good As It Gets


Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? Thats where I’ll always love, that’s where I’ll always wait for you.


I know I have a heart because I feel it breaking.


There’s three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the way that I do it. – casino.


I live in a world full of people pretending to be something they’re not .


Sometimes it’s easier to be mad at the people you trust because you know that they’ll always love you no matter what you say.


That’s the thing, she’s my other half. She’s everything that I’m not. Without her, I’m not whole. Before I met her I’d be walking through life thinking I was happy, that I was complete—but now I can’t back to just being me because now I know what it’s like .


What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew, was the only someone for you?


Don’t you think it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life.


I’m never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken.


Careless is what careless does, I couldn’t care less what careless does.


In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.


Source: best status Facebook pages and some random people. Leave in your comments if you have some.

Most Popular Facebook Statuses

Don't mix bad words with your bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke.

face book is the only place you can talk to a wall, and it talks back.

In exams, we look up for inspiration, down for desperation, left and right for information.

It's tough when someone special starts to ignore you, it's even tougher to pretend that you don't mind.

"Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others."

Don't be too confident when someone tells you that they love you, the real question is "until when"? because just like seasons

If people have a problem with u...always remember...it is THEIR problem ;)

DAMN IT"S COLD!! What happened to global warming?

Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect...x

I'm not popular, but I have good friends. I'm not rich, but I have what I need. I may not be liked, but I know I'm loved.

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

Everything in life happens for a reason so live it, learn it, and love it. Use your smile to change the world, don't let the world change your smile!

life is so confusing... what we want we don't get, what we get we are not satisfied with, what we expect never happens & what we hate generally repeats!

Facebook Status' That Will Get Lots Of Likes

Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking, because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem.

According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn’t what I thought it was.

In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source. - Oprah

A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.

That awkward moment when you change your facebook status to 'single' and your ex likes it.

LIKE if you always dreamed of being slimed on Nickelodeon.

That awkward moment when nobody likes your Facebook status.

Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship
Wife: Honey, I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio

I don’t know what I’d do without Facebook. Probably my work

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life!

This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.

I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper. Some day my prince will come.

I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday 22% Tuesday 26% Wednesday 35% Thursday 4% Friday

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see them tumble down the stairs.

Romantic Status

• Nothing makes me happier then seeing you smile at me..

• Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight of recognition.

• Love distils desire upon the eyes, love brings bewitching grace into the heart.

• I don`t like you for your looks. But I fell in love with you because of your personality.

• Being single doesn`t mean you know nothing about love. Sometimes, its wiser to be alone than with the wrong person.

• Dear heart, please fall in love only when you`re ready, not when you`re lonely.

• When you truly love someone, you can never get bored of that person.

• It`s funny how a person who was once just a stranger suddenly mean the world to you.

• The world is a scary place but somehow in your arms, it doesn`t feel so bad.

• Some people says “Make love not war”. . why not get married and make both..

• There`s a weird pleasure in loving someone who doesn`t love you.

• I love you and you love me, then why can`t we be together?

• you have my heart can I have yours..

• Its not the roses, but the wildflowers that are the key to a woman’s heart.

• My eyes literally turn to hearts when I see you.

• When I tell you I love you I don’t say it out of habit or to start a conversation, I say it to remind you that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

• In the world there are billions of people, In my eyes I see only you

• My head tells me that i don’t love you, But my heart tells me you are a liar..

• You look almost perfect, the only thing I can see that’s wrong is your lips, they’re not touching mine..

• My life started the day i met you, now when i look back i have no idea how i survived all this time without you. You are my life..

• Don’t be with someone because it’s easy. Be with someone because you love them. Even if it’s difficult..

• My dream is to be your dream.

• True love comes once in a lifetime, open your eyes and your heart and see the miracle in front of you.

• Everyday I ask myself, how’s it possible to love anyone as much as I love you? When I look in your eyes all my questions are answered.

• You can love me or hate me I swear it won’t make me or break me

• Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk just to be with you.

• You can never fully forget the ones who gave you butterflies.

• I just want you that’s it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you.

• Today I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking about you.

• I think it ’s cute when someone tells you straight up that they like you.

• I wanted to climb over the mountain and get on with my life; but I never even made it to the top because I fell for you..

• True love comes once in a lifetime…open your eyes and your heart and see the miracle in front of you.

• Everyday I ask myself, how’s it possible to love anyone as much as I love you? When I look in your eyes all my questions are answered.

• I sent an angel to look over you at night. The angel came back a minute later. I asked it why. It told me Angels don’t watch other angels.

• Your eyes are the sweetest stars I’ve ever seen.

• The few hours I spend with you are worth the thousand hours I spend without you.

• Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

• Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you. I wish that someday I’d dream about my pillow and I’d be hugging you.

• Can I borrow a quarter? I just want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dream.

• I have ONE heart that is true. It has gone from me to you. Now please take its care because I have NO heart and you have TWO.

• Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

• Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again.

• When I look at you, I cant deny there is a GOD. Bcoz only GOD could have created someone as wonderful and beautiful as you.

• There are a lot of people who call you by your name, but there is only one person who can make it sound so special.

• I dont know exactly what I was waiting for but when Im with you, It feel like everything I’ve been waiting for.

• Sometimes we make love with our eyes. Sometimes we make love with our hands. Sometimes we make love with our bodies. Always we make love with our hearts.

• When I looked into your eyes I didnt see just you, I saw my today, my tomorrow and my future for the rest of my life..

• I dont know much about algebra but what i do know is you plus me equals forever.

• Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.

• There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can`t take them off of you ;)

• Your the key to my soul.

• I love my eyes when you look into them I love my name when you say it I love my heart when you love it I love my life when you are in it.

• The way I see you is like the way I see the stars, far but still beautiful.

• Sitting next to you doing nothing means absolutely everything to me.

• A true romantic is one who romances one woman forever.

• I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen.

• Listen to my little heart. It always says your name with every heartbeat.

• The secret of love is seeking variety in your life together, and never letting routine chords dull the melody of your romance.

• Falling in love with you is the second best thing in the world. Finding you is the first.

• I can never let me heart break if it beats for you. I can never let my smile fade if it smiles for you. I can never let my love end if its for YOU.

• You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world.

• The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves.

• Age does not protect us from love, But love to some extent protects us from age.

• I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing the hands of ladies. After all, one must start somewhere.

• Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

• I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.

• I don’t want to lose this feeling. If I could choose a place to die, it would be in your arms.

• I can live without any friends, any family and any money but I can’t live without you.

• I have tested all sweet dishes but they are not as sweet as my lover’s lips :)

• Someone asked me, How’s life? I just smiled and replied, She’s fine. :)

• When I miss you, I don’t have to go far. I just have to look inside my heart because that’s where I’ll find you.

• I could conquer the world with just one hand as long as you were holding the other.

• I didn’t have any body piercing until just now. You pierced my heart.

• Let me love you if not for the rest of your life then for the rest of mine.

• Everyone tells me I deserve better, but I dont want better. I want You.

• If she is responsible for your smile, be responsible with her heart.

• It would be a waste of dream if you were not in it.

• Your presence in my life brings smiles and loving throughts within my heart!

• Someday when the pages of my life end, I know that you will be one of its most beautiful chapters.

• Life becomes romantic when someone start looking silently but life becomes more romantic when somone start reading those eyes.

• I really hate my heart b’coz it lives inside me but beats only for you.

• The few hours I spend with you are worth the thousand hours I spend without you.

• Sometimes its better to put LOVE into hugs than to put it into words.

• Life becomes romantic when eyes start looking at some one silently.

• I have had a very terrible day. But it always makes me feel better to see a gorgeous girl smile. Would you smile for me?

• Spaces between your fingers are supposed to be filled with mine.

• I dont need to see the sun again, there is enough light in your eyes to light up all the world.

• The only day that I will stop loving her, is when the earth stands still.

• They say that Disney World is the happiest place on earth but obviously they have never been in your arms.

• Loving you is like breathing. How can I stop it?

• I tried but I can’t stop thinking about you.

• If I know what love is, it is because of you.

• I have seen only you, I have admired only you and I desire only you.

• I don’t need anything else… Your love is the greatest gift I could ever receive.

• I want to be the girl you fall for when everybody else is falling for you.

• I wish I could tell you how I feel because every night before I sleep, you are all I think about.

• You are the reason why I smile, I love, I breath, I live

• I want to hold your hand, laugh at your jokes, walk by your side, snuggle on the couch, look into your eyes, talk about whatever and kiss your lips every single day.

• On the scale of 1 to 10: you are a 9 & I am the 1 you need.

• I universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, 7 billion people and my heart still tell me it’s only you.

• Let me be the one you love for life. Let me stay with you, every day and every night.

• I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.

• I want to hold your hands, look in your eyes and enjoy everything that you want to say to me.

• Forever is not a word rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there.

• I don’t need a burning sun and a cooling moon to show me my way. Just want you to hold me whenever I tumble.

• Hold me tighter, Kiss me longer, Love me harder and I’ll be yours forever.

• If I had my life to live over again, I would find you sooner so that I would love you longer.

• When someone talks about LOVE I think about YOU. ♥

• I love your smile and the way you make me smile.

• I’m not Shakespeare to write about you, I am not Piccaso to Paint you, I am just yours who wants to say “I am always with you”.

• Don’t promise me the moon or the stars. Just promise you’ll stay under them with me forever.

• Sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and go where your heart takes you.

• Making me happy doesn’t require a lot of efforts. Actually your presence is just enough.

• Even though we are far apart you will always be in my little heart.

• I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me b’coz I know, even if its just for a second, that I’ve crossed your mind.

• I don’t need to see the sun again, there is enough light in your eyes to light up all the world.

• I know that I’m in love with you. Because I see the world in your eyes and your eyes everywhere in the world.

• Sweetness is not sugar or honey but the kind of feeling that makes you call your lover sweetheart.

• My love for you is like a mirror. You can break it into pieces but when you look closely, you’re still in it.

• Someday somewhere somehow me & you will be together.

• I was sitting in my room today thinking of all the good things GOD has given me then I thought of you and smiled :)

• You have no idea how good it feels to wake up every morning knowing that you are mine and I’m yours.

• Cloud dances because of wind; flower sings b’coz of rain; grass grows b’coz of earth; I live because of you; you are only the reason, you are all the reasons.

• If distance is what I have to overcome to be with you, then give me a map. I am going to find you.

• Love is not something you say and it happens. It is a feeling that is felt deep in the heart and I feel it for you

• I finally realized this, I need you more than I thought.

• I made a list of special people in my life with pencil but when I reached your name, I used a pen b’coz I’m sure, I’ll never have to make any change.

• YOU …. The first thing I thought of every morning, the last thing that stays on my mind every night.

• My heart beats your name because it’s your love that runs through my veins.

• Please know that no matter what happens between us, I will always love you. You will always be my favourite, my number one.

• The most beautiful clothes that a woman can wear are the arms of the man she loves.

• If you wake up one day and were asked to have a wish, what would it be? Mine would be that our love would last until you see an apple in an orange tree.

• I’ll always catch you when you think you are about to fall.

• For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul…

• A woman who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around..

• Missing someone is a part of loving them, if you are never apart, you’ll never know how strong your love really is..

• “I’m telling you this for one reason and one reason only: No matter how sure you are of someone’s love, it’s always nice to hear it.”

• It’s A Blessing If You Are The Only Queen In Your MAN’S LIFE..

• I do not think much , I do not think often but when I think , I think of you.

• When a penguin finds its mate, they stay together for the rest of their lives. So, will you be my penguin?

• Hours magically turn into seconds when we are together.

• If you miss somebody this means he’s already close to you no matter how long you know each other.

• Life Becomes Romantic When Eyes Start Looking At Someone Silently But Life Becomes More Romantic When Someone Starts Reading Those Eyes Silently.

• It takes a million people to complete the world, but it only takes one to complete mine.

• My day could have been better if I had spent it with you.

• I need you like the desert needs rain. Like the breathless need air, like the flowers need sunshine. I need you from the first chapter of my love story to the last.

• I want to be the reason why you fall asleep with your phone in your hand.

• The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name; it’s beautiful, wonderful, don’t you ever change.

• I wanna be the last number you call late at night and the first one that you dial when you open your eyes.

• I want to hold your hand, laugh at your jokes, walk by your side, snuggle on the couch, look into your eyes, talk about whatever and kiss your lips every single day.

• I just wanna spend the rest of my life with you, believe it …

• Never say you are happy when you are sad. Never say you feel good when you feel bad. And never say you are alone when I’m still here.

• I think the perfect hug is when someone hugs me without asking me.

• Most people say,”You mean the world to me.” But that doesn’t work for us because you ARE my world.

• I really don’t care about a lot of things, but when I do care, I care too much.

• I have a very simple calculation on how long v will b 2gether. Count d stars in the heaven & sand on shore multplied by d heartbeats = 4ever

• A hug a day keeps the bad boys away.

• I’m thinking of you, that’s all I do, all the time. You’re always the first and the last thing on this heart of mine. No matter where I go, or what I do, I’m thinking of you.

• Don’t Promise Me The Moon Or The Stars..Just Promise Me. You will Stay Under Them With Me.

• I do not know what I mean to you, I just know that You mean the world to me.

• Every woman deserves to have a man who is proudly willing to say to the whole world, yeah she’s my one and only. She is beautiful and she is mine…

• They said angels were supposed to come from the sky. That means I am lucky, cause one fell for me.

• When I’m with you, the only place where I want to be is CLOSER ;)

• There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.

• We do not remember days, we remember moments.

• Text her something sweet while she’s sleeping, so in the morning she wakes up with a smile on her face.

• i’ve always been told to share my blessings and i’ve been geneous. but when i met yo, i said to my slf… “what the heck? you’re one of the few blessings i don’t wanna share with anyone else..

• Every nice thing you ever told me still runs through my mind..

• One of the most amazing things in the world is having someone fall in love with you who you thought you never had a chance with…

• When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long. No distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart..

• The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love love and be loved in return.

• “What Each Kiss Means” Kiss on the forehead: we’re cute together Kiss on the cheek: we are friends kiss on the hand: i adore you kiss on the neck: i want you, now Kiss on the shoulder: you are perfect Kiss on the lips : I Love You….

• Being in love never goes out of style..

• ou are the keeper of my heart…

• Love is a feeling that is felt _deep in the heart and I feel it for you.

• Your eyes are the sweetest stars in world I’ve ever seen..

• Since I met you I smile more, laugh easier and sleep less.

• You’re nothing short of my everything.

• Here is the place where I Love You

• You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it.

• I want to run away with you. Where there is only you and me.

• I’ll always love you. Until my heart stops beating.

• I love my life because it gave me you I love you because you are my life.

• A person who loves you truly will never let you go whatever the situation is.

• Close your eyes and I will kiss you,then Tomorrow I will miss you.

• I love things that make you <3

• I’ll love you until the day after forever.

• Since you’ve been around I smile a lot more than I use to.

• I am so lucky I found you and now when I have you, I want to be lucky enough to keep you for the rest of my life.

• The best relationship in world is when you hold the hand of the person and the person walks with you without asking, “where” & “why”

• If right now, a smile should appear on your face. It’s because at this very minute, I am thinking of you and I am smiling too.

• True love comes once in a lifetime…open your eyes and your heart and see the miracle in front of you.

• I fall in love with you, I don’t know why or how. I just did…

Ramadan Facebook Status

1. A warm and heartfelt Ramzan wish for your near and dear ones. Happy Ramadan

2. Ramadan is coming to shower blessings of Allah upon you. May you get benefit from each hour of this holy month of Ramadan! Ramadan Mubarak

3. May the light that we celebrate at Ramadan show us the way and lead us together on the path of peace and social harmony..

4. May ALLAH bestowed you peace, serenity , tranquility and health in this holy month of Ramadan along with his blessing and bliss.

5. May The Noor Of This Blessed Month illuminate your heart, Mind and soul and may your All prayers be answered.

6. Walk humbly Talk politely Dress neatly Treat kindly Pray attentively Donate generously May ALLAH bless & protect all of you

7. May this Ramadan bring in u the most brightest and choicest happiness and love you have ever Wished for.

8. Wish you a happy blessed month of Ramadan.

9. A good word is like a good tree whose root is firmly fixed and whose top is in the sky.

10. He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.

11. Any mankind is naught but a single.

12. God is with those who Preserve.

13. Fear God and he will give you knowledge.

14. May you always be in Allah swt’s loving hands. Ramadan Mubarak

15. May the spirit of Ramadan illuminate the world and show us the way to peace and harmony.

16. Make a sacrifice this Ramadan, and god will listen to your prayers with utmost attention..

17. May the Allah shower his blessings on you during this Ramadan and always..

18. May the Ramadan bring you peace and prosperity, good health and wealth, and brighten your life forever.

19. Allah is with those who restrain themselves.

20. O Allah let us live to witness this Ramadan and gain closeness to Allah subhanhu wa Ta’ala and his beautiful deen…Ameen

21. May this Ramadan bring in you the most brightest and choicest happiness and love you have ever Wished for.

22. Ramadan you peace , prosperity, good health , wealth , and may not brighten your life forever .

23. Ramadan is the month of blessings…. Whose beginning is MERCY, Whose middle is FORGIVENESS, and Whose end is CELEBRATION

24. Ramadan is the month of fasting and not feasting.

25. May The Noor Of This Blessed Month illuminate your heart, Mind and soul and may your All prayers be answered.

26. May the spirit of Ramadan illuminate the world and show us the way to peace and harmony.

27. May the light that we celebrate at Ramadan show us the way and lead us together on the path of peace and social harmony..

28. Ramadan Mubarak! I hope every Muslims do good deeds and stay away from sins inshallah! Enjoy your Ramadan everyone.

29. Welcome Ramadan Walk humbly Talk politely Dress neatly Treat kindly Pray attentively Donate generously May Allah bless & protect you�

30. I Wish This Ramadan, You Are Gifted With Blessings Of Allah And Many Treasured Moments Of Joy! Ramadan Mubarak!

31. Welcome Ramadan ,Walk humbly Talk politely Dress neatly Treat kindly ,Pray attentively and Donate generously,May Allah bless & protect you!

32. May the greatness of Allah fulfill your desires and dreams, With happiness and peace around you Ramadan Mubarak

33. May You Always Be Blessed With The Love And Protection Of Allah. Wish You A Happy Ramadan!!!!!!

34. May You Always Be Blessed With The Love And Protection Of Allah. Wish You A Happy Ramadan!!!!!!

35. I wish this Ramadan, you are gifted with blessings of Allah and many treasured moments of joy. Ramadan Mubarak

36. O Allah let us live to witness this Ramadan and gain closeness to Allah subhanhu wa Ta’ala and his beautiful deen…Ameen

37. May Allah’s blessings shine upon you and your loved ones in this month and every other month. Ramadan Kareem!

38. May you always be blessed with the love and protection of Allah. Wish you a happy Ramadan

39. Wishing that Allah always blesses your family with smiles, happiness and togetherness! Ramadan Mubarak

40. May it be sincere and fruitful, for Allah shower you with loads of wealth and happiness in life.

41. The blessed month of the year has come. Ramdan Mubarak!

42. Hoping that Allah shower you and your beloved with loads of blessings.

43. May we find blessing and guidance as we recite it all together in the Ramadan days

44. May Allah help us in this Ramadan to come closer to Him.

45. Ramadan you peace, prosperity, wealth, and may not brighten your life forever.

46. Whoever Allah wishes to show goodness, he gives him understanding of the religion.

47. I wish this Ramadan, you are gifted with blessings of Allah.

48. Ramadan is, in its essence, a month of humanist spirituality.

49. Allah is with those who restrain themselves.Ramadan Mubarak

50. A warm and heartfelt Ramzan wish f0r y0ur near and dear 0nes. Happy Ramadan

51. May this month is full of blessing and wisdom.

52. May ALLAH bless & protect you! Ramadan Mubarak

53. Islam Does not dismiss descries rather it disciplines them. Ramadan Mubarak!

54. “If you are in doubt ask Allah. Perform Salatul Istikhara. Ramdan Mubarak!”

55. Wishing that Allah always blesses your family with smiles, happiness, and togetherness! Ramadan Mubarak

56. May this Ramadan is blissful and peaceful to you and your family.

57. Never forget your dialogue with God, it is your strength

58. The Holy Fast Has Begun Together With Fajar Azan. Let The Fast Bring Happiness To You. Let Grace Abound In Your Home May Allah Bless And Protect You..

59. Ramadan Kareem Mubarik. May Allah Enables Us To Do M0re And M0re Good Deeds N To Make The M0st Of Dix M0nth… May Allah Forgive R Sins.Ameen. Remembr Me In Ur Prayers.

Funny Facebook Status

• Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!

• If swimming is an exerciser explain whales to me.

• I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs…

• Before talking, Please connect the tongue to the brain…

• If swimming is an exerciser explain whales to me.

• Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters..

• I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”

• Even if you live your life as a open book, people will still wonder which pages have secret messages.

• For every girl without a guy, there`s a guy without a girl.

• Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

• I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

• You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

• The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do..

• I am a star, so when you see me, make a wish.

• I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.

• That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.

• Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does..

• I`m not single. I`m in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.

• Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?

• My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.

• There are no stupid questions, just stupid people..

• That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.

• Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left…

• Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

• Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition..

• Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

• Your eye is the only part you can not wash with soap.

• One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry..

• If Facebook is the Upper West Side and MySpace is the Bronx, then Tagged is a trailer park in New Jersey.

• You can not get lost on a straight road.

• When I was born I was so surprised, I didnt talk for a year and a half..

• I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

• Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

• Life is too short, smile while you still have teeth..

• Do you know the difference between a lady and a woman? A lady does what she’s told and a woman does what she dam well pleases!

• I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

• Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.

• Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.

• I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing..

• You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around.

• If life give you lemons, squirt your enemy’s eye..

• Well, We have a poke button, now we need a punch and pinch and kick button..

• Facebook is a crazy house People poke each other all day have an imaginary pet farm and talk to walls

• I don’t have issues, I have demonds and they are the ones with issues

• I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you.

• Sometimes the only one who can appreciate you, is you.

• I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic..

• I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience…

• I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT..

• If you are reading this, congrats you know how to read..

• When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me..

• Thinks if Peter Piper picked peppers and Jack and Jill ran up the hill and Mary took her lamb to school, wasn’t Humpty Dumpty lazy just sitting on a wall?

• The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.

• I bet that in prison everyone’s FB relationship status is set to it’s complicated.

• I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

• Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.

• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

• When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later back on. its an endless cycle..

• Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has TWO.

• A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM

• Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to write on a wall.

• Harush says if you want to be together you have TO-GET-HER.

• I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.

• Thinks I feel great when I go to bed drunk. I wake up feeling crap. Obviously sleep is bad for you.

• I don’t get it, all my life I was told NOT to write on walls.

• Behave, What you do today will be on Facebook tomorrow.

• Some relationships are like tom and Jerry, they irritate each other, they tease each other, but they still can’t live without each other..

• Growing older is compulsory Growing up, however, remains optional.

• The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.

• I’m usually charming, nice, and well manured, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now..

• If you like me press like. If you hate me, go away. If you love me comment.

• Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook talking never updates anything.

• Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.

• I need 6months vacation, twice a year..

• I am going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, i mean drinking beer and spraying everything with febreze.

• That awkward moment when you keep talking & you don`t realize your friend walked away.

• Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.

• Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.

• I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

• The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

• Hi, Im Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

• While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.

• Lovely days in my life : Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life : ONLY EXAM DAYS :)

• Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up and boys lie.

• My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It’s freaking, I’ll rent a boat…..

• If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS

• Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

• I have a Date tonight, Woot Woot! (of course its with the couch, pillow and TV Remote, but its still a date. Right?)

• It’s Christmas and 2015 is coming closer to an end! what’s the funniest thing you remember me doing this year??

• Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time..

• C.L.A.S.S – Come Late And Start Sleeping

• Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.

• A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”

• I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.

• If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.

• The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.

• Okay mom…you know I love you…but I can’t accept your friend request on Facebook.

• I wish I could google “things to eat in my fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.

• If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.

• The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

• I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.

• An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

• Why is abbreviation such a long word?

• Do you know what’d look good on you? Me :)

• When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

• FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block :( THE END

• Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

• Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.

• Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

• Im a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you

• Excuse me is your last name Gillette? …because you are the best a man can get!

• When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

• The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

• You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.

• The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.

• If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

• Do you have the time? ………………… O No, the time to write down my number? :)

• I speak two languages, Body and English.

• How can i miss something i never had?

• BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.

• If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

• I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste :)

• I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and i’m still at school.

• Kiss me and you will see how important I am.

• If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.

• Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.

• Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.

• One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

• I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.

• Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want ,men have to sleep with whoever lets them!

• Do you know the meaning og ABCDEF? A boy can do everything for Girl. Reverse the meaning of, GFEDCBA … Girl forget everything done & Catches new boy Again.

• Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

• There are alot of fish in the sea, but I think there’s a hole in my net :)

• Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA :)

• If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

• Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.

• The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”

• Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.

• If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.

• Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

• You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

• You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.

• Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.

• Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.

• My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.

• If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :D

• The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.

• Caution, Blind Man Driving.

• Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?

• If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.

• The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

• Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

• I feel like a Indiana Jones, because you are the treasure I am looking for.

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.

• I hate when I’m about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.

• Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them :)

• God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China :)

• Friday is my second favorite F word.

• For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.

• Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY :)

• I think I got a fever, a fever of you :)

• I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday :)

• Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

• For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. :)

• I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

• If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.

• Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.

• Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number :D

• Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

• Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.

• Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.

• I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz

• Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat :)

• It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.

• I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice :)

• If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking :)

• I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)

• All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

• Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

• Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.

• Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.

• I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)

• I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)

• Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.

• Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)

• The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

• I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won :)

• Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.

• How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)

• Nothing is illegal until you get caught :)

• Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.

• Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)

• Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.

• The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me :)

• I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)

• Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

• I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.

• Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” :)

• Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

• Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

• Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

• Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

• In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31

• I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)

• GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

• I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)

• Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) :)

• A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

• When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

• The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.

• My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)

• I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)

• If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

• I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)

• There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh

• Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

• I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ;)

• My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

• The only thing I gained so far in 2013 is weight :)

• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

• TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED :)

• I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)

• Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

• At least mosquitos are attracted to me.

• Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

• I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

• It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.

• When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

• Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D

• Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)

• My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

• If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)

• I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)

• Smtimes its better to bunk the class instead of attending it Cause today wen I look back, my marks never make me laugh but mmories d…

• Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

• I Like to study ‘. arithmetic, NO ‘. world history, NO ‘. chemistry, NO ‘. GIRLS, YES!!!

• Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P

• People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

• In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

• C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping :)

• When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…

• Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_

• Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

• People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at jym.

• Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

• It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

• Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.

• When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

• Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

• We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D

• Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

• It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry :)

• Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

• I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

• A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

• My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

• When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…

• Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped :)

• Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

• Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it

• A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

• Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

• Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

• God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :P

• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

• When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

• I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

• My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

• Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…

• My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

• I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

• Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

• I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.

• Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy[/quote]

• My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

• Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.

• A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

• Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains .

• It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing…

• I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

• Life is Short – Chat Fast!

• Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

• Everythings funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..

• I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

• What’s good about being single? you can always flirt with anyone. you can go anywhere without someone behind your back. you can do whatever you want. and what ‘s the best about being single? No one make you cry :) :)

• Save water drink beer.

• Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

• You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

• I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

• I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..

• Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

• If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

• Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying “OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM”

• The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.

• I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.

• I know the world isn’t going to end in 2015 because my yogurt expires in 2016!

• I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.

• Teacher -“Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY???” Student -“in Swiss Banks” lolx.

• Being single is fun….

• Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.

• My week is basically …Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday

• At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days :Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :) :)

• Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

• typing….

• If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.

• Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.

• There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-veterinarian & Tuesday Saturday

• My heart is stolen…can I check your bra…….

• I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P

• My teachers always told me that if I didn’t study hard enough I’d end up working at McDonalds. Well I proved them wrong, I got a job at KFC today.

• Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation

• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

• I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

• (._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rollin, they hatin

• Say this out loud fast: ”U R 2 6 C I 1 2 4 Q.”

• Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.

• The best memories come from bad ideas.

• Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation..

• I have been upgraded to Santas naughty list Platinum member

• A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.

• Dont ruin a Good Today because of a Bad Yesterday

• The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.

• Every person you come across is a ‘People you may know’ notification.

• I want everyone to meet you. You’re my favorite person of all time.

• If I opened a camera store called Photo Shop, do you think I’d get sued by Adobe?

• Was that lightning?!” “No, they’re taking pictures for Google earth…

• I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.

• I am such a good a cook even the smoke alarm hoots and hollers

• The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

• Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear. Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep :)

• I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?

• 99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 3%.