Insult Facebook Status

• If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

• I’m not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and Get Over it.

• I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

• Save your breath, you’ll need it to blow up your date.

• Mix with people with a good attitude.

• If you are shameless, you would do as you wish…

• Why don’t you understand me like my iPhone does??

• 90% of the time I say `BRB` it just means I don`t want to talk to you anymore..

• Don’t think, it may sprain your brain!

• How would you like to feel the way you look?

• I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works..

• I don’t even like the people you’re trying to imitate, if you are at all.

• Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that’s very typical of you.

• Do u practice being this ugly?

• Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent…

• I like you. People say I’ve no taste, but I like you.

• Careful now, don’t let your brains go to your head…

• Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing…

• I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you, you’re just not laughing.

• My eyez detected My heart reacted Thousnd were rejected and Only u were selected. Bcoz I needed a monkey 4 an advertisement

• The First Human Who Hurled An Insult Instead Of A Stone Was The Founder Of Civilization.

• Girls like shoes more than CLOTHES, Because No Matter How Much They Weigh, it still fits.

• Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey :)

• Don’t feel special, I only keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

• Actually no, my status wasn’t aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.

• Oh you are dating my ex? Cool, Im eating a sandwich …. want those leftovers too?

• Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?

• I don’t insult people. I just describe them.

• If you liked my profile, Raise up ur hands. If not, raise your standard

• If you’re going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.

• Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?

• Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

• Are your parents siblings?

• I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

• I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you, you’re just not laughing.

• Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.

• Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.

• How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.

• It’s not that you are weird…it’s just that everyone else is normal.

• Shhhh…that’s the sound of nobody caring what you think.

• I respect you so much I salute you with 1 finger!

• Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?

• Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent…

• Don’t blame me for your insecurity!

• Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

• he most effective comeback to an insult is silence.

• Careful now, don’t let your brains go to your head.

• No need for insults, your face says it all.

• I’m not insulting you..I’m describing you.

• People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.

• “You are my brother and I love you but you are a great big bag of dicks”

• I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

• If i punch you in the face, will pork chops fall out of your ass?

• I want to say to some people “Shit is supposed to come from your ass not your mouth. Although looking at you there’s no difference”

• It’s funny when the dumbest, most selfish, childish person you know, tells people to “Grow up” they must know that’s the ultimate insult coming from them!

• My dog likes you more than me. So i think we should break up.

• cried today…i heard on the news the government wants to kill all mentally ill people, i thought of you…run my little retard run!

• Dear Girls,if you are annoyed by too many friend request from boys.Just set your original pic as profile pic.if it doesn’t work wash your face, take a pic and try again.

Independence Day Status

• If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace.

• I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in, and going after your dreams.

• From every mountain side Let Freedom ring…

• I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.

• Liberty is the breath of life to nations..

• In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed, it must be achieved.

• The United States is the only country with a known birthday.

• Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.

• Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.

• In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.

• Let freedom never perish in your hands.

• Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

• The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation.

• Keep country green & clean!! Let us make this our National Motto Happy Independence Day.

• Freedom of speech is wonderful – right up there with the freedom not to listen.

• Ye baat hawao ko bataye rakhna, Roshni hogi chirago ko jalaye rakhna, Lahu dekar jiski hifazat humne ki… aise Parcham ko sada Dil me basaye rakhna…. Happy Independence Day … :)

• We are a nation, Built on harmony, development, Prosperity and peace, Achieving milestone for a better future, Happy independence day.

• Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.

• May The Sun In His Course Visit No Land More Free, More Happy, More LOVELY, than this our own country! Happy Independence Day.

• The price for independence is often isolation and solitude.

• True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what’s right.

• You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence.

• Without moral and intellectual independence, there is no anchor for national independence.

• Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn.

• True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else.

• Fear is the foundation of most governments.

• Democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people.

• Freedom was taken by the blood that was given. Happy Independence Day..

• It is day to pay salute to all those who became the reason of this land. Happy Independence.

• We shed many tears to get this land,now filled it with smiles and happiness.

• True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what’s right.

• Mickey Mouse is, to me, a symbol of independence. He was a means to an end.

• Let freedom never perish in your hands.

• You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence.

• 15 August is a good time to examine who we are and how we got here.

• No nation is perfect, it needs to be made perfect Happy Independence day.

• I’m thinking of you in a very special way.. Happy Independence Day..

• Feel the freedom, Happy Independence Day

• True independence and freedom… can only exist in doing what’s right.

• The future depends on what you do today – Happy Independence Day!

• Let us make this our National Happy …Independence Day

• You give me your blood and I will give you Independence!

• Feel the freedom, Happy Independently Day.

• The flag of my country furls very high!! Happy Independence day

• True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what’s right.Happy Independence

• Independence Day! The day of Sacrifice, The day of love, The day of decision.

• Freedom is a Precious gift of our freedom fighters.

• “No nation is perfect in World,it needs to be made perfect Happy Independence day.”

• The Free Man Is Who Does Not,Fear To Go The End Of His Thought.

• “One individual may die for an idea; but that idea will, after his death, incarnate itself in a thousand lives.”

• Happy Independence DayI’m Proud To Be A Pakistani Where At Least I Know I’m Free..

• Life is full of vibrations, not of bombs But of harmony & happiness Enjoy it with full masti, spirituality & Rhythm.. Happy Independence Day

• Come the country, respect the sacrifice of the martyrs recall, once again lead the nation, we lay our hands Pakistani, come to respect Independence Day!

Kids Status

• When your kids grow up they will realize that when you said no, you were saying I love you.

• A child should feel nothing but, “safe.”

• My children are a blessing and they make my life worth living!

• Knew i had found the man of my dreams as soon as i looked into my son’s eyes.

• I know all parents think their child is the cutest thing in the world but seriously, mine is.

• I’m not a violent person, but mess with my kids and I will become one.

• I have been hit hard with the “Your kids will turn out just like you” curse.

• Facebook is my escape from Disney Channel and Cartoon Network.

• Thinks their kids forgot the name “daddy” because all they hears is “mommy, mommy, mommy”.

• A mother’s love for a child can only be understood by a mother.

• Funny how some people call themselves parents yet,,they never seem to have their kids.

• Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

• Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.

• Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.

• Children are gifts…they save your life, give you the strength to change it, and teach you some of life`s greatest lessons!TREASURE THEM!

• It’s priceless when your kids say “I Love You” just out of the blue

• If a kid asks where rain comes from, tell them “God is crying.” And if they ask why God is crying, tell them “probably because of something you did”

• parents doesn’t get how a child so little can take up so much room in a bed so big!!

• I miss my childhood, I miss my school friends, I miss those beautiful vacation, But most of all, I miss you.

• The biggest thing we get out of it is seeing the kids smile. And hopefully we will also see that the lessons we’re teaching – not only the fundamentals of hockey, but also the life values – are sinking in.

• I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.

• Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.

• We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

• Make It A Tule Never To Give A Child A Book You Would Not Read yourself.

• The Problem With Today’s Children Is That Today’s Grown-ups ARE Idiots…

• Do all you can to make your dreams come true.

• I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

• Stop trying to perfect your children, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with them.

• The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.

• How pathetic can you possibly get?

• Most people mature with age. How do some people get it backwards?

• Adults are just kids with money.

• Not many people can drive me as CRAZY as my kids, But NOBODY can make me as happy as my kids

• If I was told to go to bed. I’d be like. OK! Why can’t kids be the same way?

• It’s fun being a kid.

• Why do we lock up kids who have not committed crimes?

• parents A child should feel nothing but, ” SAFE . “

• Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.

• The Problem With Today’s Children Is That Today’s Grown-ups ARE Idiots..

• You were made to be awesome.

• Oh, it’s just my kids! ;-p

• My children are a blessing and they make my life worth living!

• Dear kids, make the world more awesome!

• A child has a special day of adding joy to every day!

• A child has a special day of adding joy to every day!

• Kids need love, especially when they do not deserve it.

• Kids are always happy so be cool and act like a kid again.

• Children need your presence more than your presents.

• A child has a special way of adding joy to every day.

• A child has a special day of adding joy to every day!

• Put that back! Can’t imagine why people would think kids could cause stress!

• Time spent playing with children is never wasted.

• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap as a child!

• wonders when their kids will realise.. WE’VE been there, done that, invented it, and know what your thinking… SO DON’T EVEN TRY IT!

• Mommy ,mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, WHAT!!! I Love You!!

Islamic Facebook Status

• Fear the prayer of the oppressed.

• Do not laugh too much, for excessive laughter deadens the heart.

• Love for other people what you love for yourself.

• Keep away from prohibited things and you will be among the best of worshippers.

• Follow up a bad deed with a good deed, to waive it out.

• Fear Allah wherever you may be…

• Obey Allah and Allah will reward you.

• When Allah deprives you of something you wanted badly, you can always expect better next time.

• Even if you are not the best of practicing Muslim, still strong love & faith in Allah can keep you moving & take you to your destination In Sha Allah !!

• I thank Allah for caring for me even when I lost my hopes in Him, Alhamdulillah!!

• Sayings of the Holly Prophet P.B.U.H: Make it ur habit 2 recite the Istighfar As Istighfar will give u relief 4rom evry problem & will free u 4rom evry grief u will get ur livelihood 4rom dat wayz dat u will nave imagine about dat source.’

• There is no difference between the black, white, the Arab, the non-Arab except by the level of piety!!

• The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman!!!!

• A special prayer for all those who are suffering in silence,Those Who KEEP Smiling Yet Are Struggling To Cope. May The Almighty Bless you!!!

• God puts people in your life FOR A Reason, AND Removes Them From Your Life For A Better Reason.

• Islam is not about, “We are better than you”. Islam is about “Let me show you something, that is better for you”.

• Pray not because you need something but because you have a lot to thank GOD for.

• Even though God has no twitter & tumblr account. We should follow Him.

• Pray to Allah and be confident of a response.

• Lord i pray for your guidance and your deliverance now until then.

• God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them from your life for a better reason.

• If you feel uncomfortable about something, then leave it alone.

• If someone who is distinguished among his own people comes to you, then honor him..

• Cheer people up, do not put them down.

• Do not betray the one who betrays you.

• Control your tongue..

• The less your wealth, the less you will be called to account for.

• O Allah, strengthen me in my religion.

• Never give the devil a ride He will always want to drive

• Guide us to the straight path.

• Forgive people so that perhaps Allah may forgive you.

• He who is patient achieves victory.

• I’m never alone Allah is always there with me.

• Fear the Fire, even if by giving half a date (in charity)

• Fear Allah and treat all your children fairly.

• Sometimes the people with the worst past create the best future.

• Be good to others, that will protect you against evil.

• Repel evil with that which is better.

• Indeed! My Lord is with me. He will guide me.

• Sadness fades away when we realize that our future is in Allah’s hand.

• A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

• I suffered. I learned. I changed.

• “And obey Allāh & The Messenger that you may obtain mercy.

• Allah is always there for you.

• For Give others So That Allah Will Forgive You

• How soothing it is to know that ‘Allah is always planning in your favor even we are unaware of it’ Subhan’Allah!!

• Billions od souls in the darkness and Allah chose YOURS heart emoticon to be guided by his mercy.

Kiss Facebook Status

• You changed my world with just one smile, you took my heart with just one kiss.

• Your taste still lingers on my lips, like I’ve just placed them upon yours, and I starve for you.

• I don’t love him… I just like to kiss him.

• It’s not about butterflies in the first kiss, but that they are there in the last.

• One day you’ll kiss someone and know those are the lips you want to kiss for the rest of your life.

• It’s the way that he makes you feel, it’s the way that he kisses you it’s the way that he makes you fall in love..

• Kissing you is like dancing in the rain; it is an exciting kind of sensation that you can’t help but fall in love with.

• People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy.

• Kissing is like drinking salted water, you drink and your thirst increases.

• Kiss, a contraction of the mouth due to an enlargement of the heart.

• I don’t wanna miss one smile, I don’t wanna miss one kiss. I just wanna stay here with you just like this.

• Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.

• I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.

• A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.

• Smile! It’s the second best thing you can do with your mouth. But I like the first one .

• Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.

• I don’t wanna miss one smile, I don’t wanna miss one kiss. I just wanna stay here with you just like this.

• Kisses are like tears… the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.

• I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.

• Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.

• A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

• Smile! It’s the second best thing you can do with your mouth. But I like the first one.

• I love it when I am just walking away form kissing you good-bye and we both turn around at the some time to get just one more.

• Your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?

• True love is not the number of kisses or how often you get them, true love is the feeling that still lingers long after the kiss is over.

• A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.

• A love without a kiss is like a rose with out petals. what s the point?

• A book without words is like love without a kiss …. its empty.

• I was not kissing him. I was just telling his lips a secret!

• Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.

• I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

• Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.

• Kissing is like drinking salted water: you drink and your thirst increases

• A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

• Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

• Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

• A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

• Does it feel the same when she kisses you?

• A random kiss is better than an awkwardly planed one.

• I fell worthy of every kiss I laid upon you for in each of them went part of my heart.

• We kiss and it feels like we have just shrugged off the world.

• As he kissed me, I wondered how, in the middle of a rainstorm I could feel like I was burning alive.

• Hug me when I’m there, miss me when I’m not, kiss me every day, and love me for all eternity.

• The only thing better than a kiss, is the moment right before, when he looks into your eyes and leaves you breathless

• Kisses are like tears… the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.

• The softer the lips, the better the kiss.

• The best part about a first kiss is right before the first kiss.

• Kiss is the first step how much i love u, How much i think about you, How much i miss you, and Show, that i trust u so much

• Kiss me until I fall asleep.

• Your kiss at night is the sweetest for sure it allows me to dream of a thousand more.

• Never a lip is curved with pain that can’t be kissed into smile again.

• Kissing is like real estate. The most important thing is location, location, location.

• Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.

• Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart.”

• Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.

• Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

• I hope I haven’t given you the impression that I consider kissing intrinsically irrational

• A kiss is an event whose probability Depends On The Vital Statistics OF 36-24-36.

• Love is heat. You are sweet. When two Lips meet. Love is complete. Lots of kisses for you on this Kiss Day.

• A kiss is something you cannot give without taking and cannot take without giving.

• A smile does a good make up in a relationship, but a kiss does even better.

• KISS …. The best way to shut a girl up.

• I want my first kiss to be long but gentle, soft but glorious. Most of all want it to be with you.

• Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.

• A book without words is like love without a kiss …. its empty.

• It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.

• A smile does a good make up in a relationship, but a kiss does even better.

• So let’s meet at the mouth for a kiss that’s been so long overdue.

• A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.

• A man’s kiss is his signature.

• Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity..

• A kiss is not a kiss unless its with tongues.

• Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.

• The first kiss between two people is something really good in life.

• The kiss always gets a hell of a reaction.

• Life, the gift of nature, Love, the gift of life, a Kiss, the gift of Love.

• I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.

• I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

• A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one.

• I miss you, your kisses, your hugs, laugh, smile and even the way you smell. Really I miss all of you…all the day, all the time.

• A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

• A kiss on the beach when there is a full moon is the closest thing to heaven.

• What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve: the sure, sweet cement, glue, and lime of love.